Smallville

15. Smallville

I have grown to despise this show. It is so unfair because Smallville entices me with tales of Superman then bait and switches to another version of Dawson’s Creek. That is just dirty pool, man. This season was worse than any other that I have watched. There were very few positives coupled with extreme blaring negatives. We’ll start with the rather minuscule plus side of the column. Shockingly, the Oliver Queen/Green Arrow arc was actually interesting. Justin Hartley made the role work and once it was getting good he was written off the show. Best idea ever. Of course the mere existence of Erica Durance’s Lois Lane is always a happy television moment. And once again Smallville takes advantage of this situation by having her appear in about half of the season’s episodes. Thankfully in those episodes, by sheer coincidence each time of course, Lois is constantly playing slutty dress-up. There is also Chloe and Lionel delivering every week giving me at least a handful of characters to anticipate from week to week. I don’t even have a specific episode to highlight, maybe the appearance of the Justice League in action. Still, I believe I liked that episode not because of the Justice League but because someone thought it would be awesome for Chloe to become Oracle. And I agree with that idea. Moving on to the shit side of the equation. The Lana Lang and Lex Luthor storyline was easily the worst thing I watched all television season. It is up there with Teri Bauer’s amnesia in sheer personal annoyance level. By the time Lana became pregnant, I was fast-forwarding any scene involving her and Lex or just her alone. The ending was even worse than I imagined. Lana obviously faking her death was hilariously awful. Not only was that arc foul in and of itself but it also caused Lex to have a shit season. Damn this show would have improved exponentially if they had just killed her when they had the chance. Another huge negative was the flipside of liking the Green Arrow episodes. The first half of the season was at least acceptable. But just as fast as the Justice League was introduced, it was immediately removed. That left a gaping hole for the second half. The final annoyance was the weakass arc Clark was stuck with all season. The escapees from the Phantom Zone showed up all of about 5 times and outside of that all he did was fall back to the tired Clark/Lana relationship and, god, I hate these type of shows. And really the introduction of Bizarro was the final scene of the season? Ugh, this was a disease-ridden year. I can’t wait until we get the Wayne Manor spin-off where a young Bruce Wayne is BFF with a juvenile delinquent Joker.