So they went and made Machete after everyone cheered during the fake trailers of Grindhouse. I guess there have been worse reasons why a movie was made but not many come to mind. Still, Machete was just a great over-the-top movie that I can’t find too many faults with if we are just looking for a good time at the theater.
The thin premise of the Machete trailer led to an equally thin premise for the Machete movie. People love Danny Trejo so let’s make him look like a badass. There’s your movie. They worked in some sort of Mexican immigrant plot and evil politicians and law enforcement but, in the end, it was all about Danny Trejo killing dudes. So Machete tries to right some wrongs while running into a few regular Robert Rodriguez faces, like Cheech Marin, and some crazy casting choices like Robert De Niro and Steven freaking Seagal. It is exactly what you would expect from a full length Machete movie.
Who doesn’t love Danny Trejo? But be careful what you wish for because the man has gotten a bit old and moves like it. He pulls it off completely because he is Danny Trejo but the fight scenes are some old school shit with everyone moving in slow motion. This became a convergence of hilarity when he has his climatic battle with Seagal. I’m not sure if either man moved during the fight. And, obviously, Seagal dies in a way that only Steven Seagal would allow. De Niro had about the most fun I’ve seen him have in years. Don Johnson follows close behind in the scene-chewing category. I love Lapidus so it will always be a nice reward when Jeff Fahey appears. And throw in both Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba looking all sexy-like and you got yourself a movie.
Machete was good times.
7 out of 10