Day 5: 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

Move along

Returning Characters:

Move along II

Key Moments:

• Logan continues to pressure Karen about Jack Bauer. The prick, Miles, now says they can find Jack through Chloe.
• Jack dumps Wayne off with the now jobless Bill. He leaves to go meet Heller.
• Audrey is waiting on the runway as Heller’s plane lands. Seconds later, Jack speeds through in his stolen police car. Heller is pissed when he sees Jack but Jack pleads for a minute of his time. They go into the hangar and Jack plays Heller the recording. Heller is not surprised that Logan is a piece of shit. Jack hands over the recording and Heller transforms into a politician. He has his guards secure Jack. Heller tells Jack that he is going to confront Logan and make him step down to protect the nation. Jack screams that you can’t trust Logan!
• Chloe becomes paranoid when she sees a meeting let out that she wasn’t involved in. She confronts Shari who passes on fake information about Audrey. She tries to call Audrey, which allows the prick, Miles, to locate Audrey. After realizing that Shari lied to her, she yells at her right before the CTU guards arrest her.
• Logan tells Karen that the military will take down Jack not CTU. After the call, Logan calls Henderson with Jack’s location.
• Karen calls Mike to find out what Logan is doing. Mike firsts questions Gardner then speaks to a General. He finds out that Logan has not sent the military after Jack. Mike takes his confusion to Logan, who spins a lie about using a covert force to keep it secret from the Chinese. When Mike continues to ask questions, Logan dismisses him.
• Since Miles is a prick, Chloe takes the opportunity of him questioning her to pickpocket his keycard. She walks out of holding, steals a laptop, runs into Shari, tells her Logan is behind everything, then threatens her with psychiatric evaluation to shut her up, then runs out of CTU.
• Heller calls Logan and doesn’t even disguise his reason for wanting a meeting. He will be there in 5 minutes. Logan calls Henderson and tells him to retrieve the recording so he can hold off Heller.
• Martha questions Pierce about why Heller is coming to the retreat. Pierce tells her to meet him outside for answers.
• Logan and Heller go head to head. Itzin and Devane step their games up as the accusations and defenses fly. Heller doesn’t budge and demands Logan’s resignation.
• Chloe pops up at Bill’s house to hang out and talk about boys.
• Pierce doesn’t show for his meeting with Martha.
• Jack shimmies up a pole to burn the restraints of his wrists using a hot pipe. He fulfills numerous definition of badass. He cuts Audrey loose and takes out one of Heller’s guards.
• Jack sneaks up on Heller’s other guard and disarms him, but before they can do anything else Henderson’s chopper arrives. Jack takes out all of Henderson’s men ending the fight by blowing up a gas tank. Henderson snuck into the hangar during the shootout and is holding Audrey hostage. He tells Jack he will trade her for the recording. Henderson cuts Audrey’s arm to force Jack to give him the recording. Audrey is bleeding all over the place so Jack cuts some rubber tubing to tourniquet the wound.
• At the moment Logan is going to sign his resignation in front of Heller and Gardner, Henderson and calls and Logan switches it to Heller’s resignation.

Ridiculousness:

Good hour

Running Totals:

Jack loves America not Americans: 1 (21)

• Jack knocks out one of Heller’s guards.

Jack’s body count: 5 (132)

• Jack runs through all of Henderson’s men with little trouble.

Day 5: 11:00 PM - 12:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

Next

Returning Characters:

• James Heller (4am – 5am episode of season 4)

Key Moments:

• Jack and crew are on the road. Evelyn tells him that her evidence against Logan is in a safety deposit box at a bank. Because of the curfew, Wayne pulls over into a motel to deal with Evelyn’s bullet wound. Jack calls Audrey and tells her that they will need her father if they are going to go against Logan. Jack and Wayne leave a near unconscious Evelyn in the motel with her child and no medical help.
• Logan blames Henderson for the day’s problems. If he hadn’t killed David Palmer things wouldn’t have gotten out of control.
• Logan tells Karen that Jack Bauer needs to be arrested for the assassination of David Palmer. He gives her no reason, but the prick, Miles, doesn’t care. He tells Karen they should watch Audrey to find Jack.
• Audrey has a conversation with Chloe about covering her tracks when she leaves CTU. She leaves CTU and Karen has an agent tracking her.
• Jack has decided that the best way to get into the bank is to kidnap the bank manager. Jack and Wayne break into his house, threaten the manager, ties up his wife, and heads to the bank.
• Audrey calls Heller and asks him to land in LA but doesn’t explain why. He agrees and says he will be there in an hour. Audrey pulls into a gas station, calls Chloe, scans for a tracker, removes it, and puts it on a truck that’s parked next to her.
• Pierce hears Gardner ask Logan about the arrest warrant on Jack Bauer. Logan doesn’t give Gardner an explanation other than he is the President.
• Evelyn passes out and her daughter calls 911. Henderson is notified of her location.
• Karen finds out that Audrey dumped the tracker placed on her car.
• The manager lets Jack and Wayne into the bank. Jack heads into the vault and the manager recognizes Wayne. Wayne explains what they are doing.
• Henderson shoots the EMTs who were working on Evelyn.
• Miles finds Audrey on satellite.
• Shari tells Chloe that something weird is happening with the satellites. Chloe realizes that the prick, Miles, is tracking Audrey.
• Henderson’s team is on site at the bank. He tells them to kill Jack on sight and find the recording.
• Jack, Wayne, and the manager find the recording and listen to it. The pain in Wayne’s face as he hears Logan and Henderson talk about killing his brother is tangible. Before they can leave the bank, Jack spots Henderson’s men. Jack tells the manager to trigger the silent alarm so the police arrive to cause a diversion.
• Chloe goes into the tech room to corrupt the prick's, Miles, satellite image. He goes looking for her but she “outsmarts” him.
• The cops arrive at the bank and Henderson gives his men orders to engage the police. Jack and friends leave during the shootout but the manager is shot before they can steal a cop car. I guess that’s a noble death? Jack calls Audrey and they talk about meeting Heller in 15 minutes and taking down the President.

Ridiculousness:

• The Chloe sneaking around scenes are hilarious because they play this fake James Bond music while she is sneaking around. And I like how the prick, Miles, falls for the “I was in the bathroom" trick.

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 3 (127)

• Jack gets a few of Henderson’s men outside of the bank.

Day 5: 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

Not here

Returning Characters:

Not here II

Key Moments:

• Audrey calls Curtis to find out if Jack is alive, while Chloe confirms that the gas was rendered inert.
• Curtis spots Jack carrying an unconscious Bierko. Jack tells Curtis to take Bierko back to CTU.
• Jack calls Bill to tell him his thoughts on Henderson. He feels that Henderson has to be taken orders from someone powerful and the thought scares him.
• Gardner tells Karen to complete the Homeland Security takeover of CTU. The prick, Miles, says they can use Audrey to discredit Bill.
• Henderson is told that Wayne got away.
• Pierce wakes Wayne up once they are back at the retreat. Wayne says David’s source was Evelyn and he needs to question her. They catch her before she leaves for the day. When Wayne gets angry with her, Evelyn says her daughter has been kidnapped. They want the evidence she has for her daughter. She tells Wayne she will give him the evidence if they save her daughter.
• Karen announces to CTU that Homeland Security is taking over. The prick, Miles, asks Audrey to speak with him in private.
• Wayne calls Jack about Evelyn. Jack says he will meet them in 20 minutes.
• The prick, Miles, brings his proposal to blame Bill to Audrey and she tells him to fuck off.
• Jack and Audrey catch each other up. He tells her that he needs CTU’s access so she has to find a way. They think Gardner is dirty.
• Audrey signs the blood document but gets Chloe in the deal.
• Henderson is moved on to child kidnapping.
• Pierce and Wayne run into Gardner before Wayne can get out of the retreat. Pierce covers by saying that Wayne had a memento from David.
• The prick, Miles, tells Chloe she can keep her job but tells Bill to get the hell out because Audrey signed the document.
• Henderson calls Evelyn. She tells him that she never saw Wayne, so Henderson gives her the address for the exchange. Jack gives the address to Audrey. She tries to get Chloe to understand why she did what she did.
• Jack scares the shit out of Wayne and Evelyn by entering their meeting place from the back entrance. She will not talk till she has her daughter. Chloe sends satellite images of the exchange point showing 10 bad guys. Jack tells Wayne he can’t go but Wayne pleads to take out the bastards who killed his brother.
• Evelyn is scared about allowing Jack to ambush the exchange; so Jack tells her that Henderson killed David Palmer do you think he won’t kill you and your daughter? She drives off and Jack and Wayne make their way on foot.
• Jack and Wayne mow through a number of Henderson’s men. Jack takes out the sniper and watches the exchange. Evelyn drives up and the exchange begins. Henderson sends her daughter over and she drags her to the ground. Jack starts taking out as many as he can. Henderson takes Evelyn’s car and escapes. Evelyn has been shot in the leg. Jack asks her who is behind this and she tells him that it isn’t Gardner.
• Aw shit, Henderson is on the phone with Logan.

Ridiculousness:

• I still don’t get why the hell Homeland Security is doing what they are doing at CTU.
• Wayne was a marine? That’s awesome. And the future President on 24 is killing fools this hour.

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 5 (124)

• Jack takes out a bunch of Henderson’s men, including slicing the sniper’s throat.

Day 5: 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Shari Rothenberg (Kate Mara): I love the storylines that I blocked from my memory. Shari loves her sexual harassment.

Returning Characters:

None

Key Moments:

• Bill tells Chloe to research what Audrey has been up to over the last 18 months. He then takes Audrey in for questioning.
• Jack drags Collette into CTU with the normal threats.
• Bill, Karen, and the prick, Miles, are arguing over how to interrogate Audrey. Jack walks into the room and tears Karen apart. She brings up Nina Myers and Jack says she was undercover for years before she screwed over Jack. He then moves on to say James Heller will destroy Karen for torturing his daughter. Jack gets his way.
• Bierko’s men stage a fight to ambush some cops and steal their stuff.
• Chloe has found evidence that Audrey and Walt had a one-night stand.
• Shari arrives to replace the dearly departed Edgar.
• Jack begins the questioning of Audrey by telling her to answer his questions or they will bring the pain. She denies everything, so Jack moves on to the dalliance with Walt. Jack hammers her over this and she admits to it and says she was in pain over his death. Jack goes back to ole number one by tossing the desk, grabbing her neck, and pushing her against the wall. He calls off the interrogation.
• Karen is a bitch and says Jack was weak and sends in the liquid pain for Audrey.
• Jack is leading Audrey out of CTU but the redshirts come for him. He takes out a couple of them before getting the stun gun. Audrey is dragged back to holding.
• Henderson calls his men and tells them to find and kill Wayne Palmer.
• Pierce can’t get in touch with Wayne so he decides to go look for him.
• Jack schools Karen on how Henderson is derailing them. He tells her he will catch Collette in a lie and void her immunity.
• Bierko and his men kill their way into a power plant. He gives an engineer 15 minutes to lower the PSI so he can put the nerve gas in the pipeline.
• Pierce finds Wayne in the woods and they run off.
• Audrey is getting the liquid pain.
• Chloe finds proof that Henderson and Collette have spoken to each other numerous times. Jack tells Bill to get Audrey out of holding and void Collette’s immunity deal. He doesn’t wait for the go ahead. He knocks out the guard protecting Collette and immediately puts her at gunpoint. She admits Henderson gave her Audrey’s name. Jack says Henderson’s plan worked and he is now pissed off. He gives her 3 second to give him the name of the target or he will kill her. Collette says it’s a natural gas plant but doesn’t know which one. Jack moves on to scream at everyone until they free Audrey.
• Shari uses her chemistry knowledge to pinpoint the natural gas plant that Bierko is at.
• Henderson’s men fire a missile at Wayne and Pierce. Wayne is knocked out but Pierce drags him into his SUV and drives off.
• Jack and Curtis are in a chopper heading to the plant.
• Bierko’s men have set all the canisters.
• Jack and crew drop from the helicopter to the roof of the plant. Jack and Curtis sneak into the control room leaving bodies in their wake. Bierko sees the PSI is low enough and sets off the gas. Jack kills a bunch of thugs but Bierko runs off. Jack tells Bill that their last chance is to blow up the plant! Now that is a plan. He heads out to set the C4 with a 30 second charge. Jack gets the hero shot of running at the camera with all the explosions happening behind him. Instead of heading to safety he spots Bierko and changes course. Before any shots are fired an explosion knocks Bierko against the cop car. Jack picks him up and after a scuffle drags him into the car as the plant explodes all around him.

Ridiculousness:

• It would be nice if someone could explain to me the protocol for CTU interrogations. Karen pushes to give Audrey the liquid pain right off the bat! Shouldn’t that be the last resort?
• Audrey slept with Walt? Good lord the soap is getting in my eyes.
• Bill tells Shari she did good work and pats her on the shoulder. Shari tells Chloe that it was harassment … what the fuck 24?

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 3 (34)

• Jack eventually puts the choke on Audrey so it counts.
• Audrey doesn’t escape the liquid pain.
• Jack doesn’t touch Collette but he does give her 3 seconds before he will kill her.

Jack loves America not Americans: 3 (20)

• Jack takes out 2 CTU redshirts.
• Jack knocks out the guard inside Collette’s cell.

Jack’s body count: 3 (119)

• Jack takes out a few of Bierko’s men but not Bierko.

Day 5: 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

Nada

Returning Characters:

Nada II

Key Moments:

• Jack watches as a white sheet is put over Tony’s corpse. Chloe has found the name Collette Stenger on Henderson’s hard drive. Jack calls Curtis and says he is going with him.
• Martha makes one last plea to Charles to not put soldiers in the streets. Logan goes in front of the cameras and imposes a curfew in LA.
• Homeland Security enters CTU. That prick, Miles, takes Chloe’s keycard and sits at Edgar’s desk.
• Wayne reappears and calls Pierce and asks for a discreet meeting.
• Collette leaves the hotel and heads to her meeting with Bierko.
• Within minutes Bill has figured out that Karen is there to shutdown CTU.
• Jack and Curtis waste no time rushing into Collette’s hotel room. When the room is empty, Jack moves the search to the roof. Theo jumps Curtis and takes his gun. Jack gets in a standoff with Curtis in between. Theo puts his gun down when Curtis shows his badge. Theo is German intelligence and does not want to give up Collette.
• Jack is on his own with trying to convince Theo to give up Collette. Jack sends Curtis out of the room and begins. He offers Theo the wet list of terror suspects around the world. This is something America has never given Germany before so Theo accepts. Jack tells Chloe that he needs that super secure list. Chloe no longer has access so she has to go old school. She spills coffee on Miles and downloads the list when he goes to cleanup. Jack shows the list to Theo and Theo says they need to head to the airport.
• Collette and Bierko complete their transaction. It’s nice to see one of these shady transactions completed without one of them killing the other when it’s done.
• Bill, Karen, and Miles confront Chloe about what she downloaded. She tells them and they all freak out.
• Jack is hanging out in the back of Theo’s car when Karen calls. Theo makes Jack put it on speakerphone. Jack yells Karen down, while having Theo at gunpoint. Jack is going through with the deal. Collette enters the parking lot. Theo gets her out of her car and Jack and Curtis rush in for the arrest. Jack gives Theo the list and sends him on his way. In the last bit of awesomeness, the memory card he gave Theo corrupts itself. Jack calls to apologize but Theo hangs up. Theo should be waiting for Jack in Germany in the 24 movie!
• Jack questions Collette. She wants to talk to Jack alone so she can buy Jack … HAHAHAHA! Silly fool. He tells her to name her price and, of course, it is full immunity. He calls Karen with the request and tells her to get off his ass because he didn’t give the wet list to anyone.
• Wayne spots headlights following him. A van pulls up on the side of him and shoots out one of his tires. Wayne’s car drives off the side of the road and flips over. He crawls out of the wreckage and makes a break for it.
• Collette says her source is Audrey Raines.

Ridiculousness:

None this hour

Running Totals:

Middle of the season hour

Day 5: 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Karen Hayes (Jayne Atkinson): In the hour that Lynn dies, someone from Homeland Security that just wants to run CTU her way replaces him. This type of character is so tiring even if Karen does grow into something better eventually.
• Collette Stenger (Stana Katic): One of those bad people in the CTU universe that has access to everything for a price.
• Theo Stoller (Henry Ian Cusick): Who gives a shit about Theo Stoller? It’s Desmond Hume!
• Miles Papazian (Stephen Spinell): I literally wrote, “Miles is a prick” in every single hour he appeared. I hate this guy because all he does is hate on people who work at CTU.

Returning Characters:

None

Key Moments:

• Bill is on the phone with Curtis and is told that chemical response cannot reach CTU for 30 minutes. Jack and Bill discuss how fucked they are. Jack tries to get the catatonic Chloe back to work. Creepy therapist offers to help and Jack has other things to do so he lets him. It may have also been because his next step would probably have been to start slapping Chloe around.
• Lynn admits to the guard in his holding cell that the nerve gas got in because of his keycard.
• Tony is out of bed and sees the dead bodies everywhere.
• Audrey gets Jack through to medical but when he starts talking to Dr. Besson Tony chokes him out so he can kill Henderson. He puts a gun on Henderson but Jack is able to talk him down.
• Karen recommends to Logan and Gardner that Homeland Security takeover CTU and replace the staff with their people.
• Bierko is moving the rest of the canisters to the next target.
• Jack needs Chloe’s help but creepy therapist opens his mouth, a mistake, and leads to Jack choking him nearly unconscious. Chloe snaps to and says she will get to work if it everyone will calm down. New alarms go off because the gas is corrosive and eating through into their safe zones. They will be dead in 15 minutes.
• Bill confirms that the gas will kill them before Curtis arrives. Chloe figures out that Ostroff did something on a computer that needs to be shutdown from that computer. Jack will need to go through a contaminated area in order to shutdown the program. Jack heads into the walls of CTU.
• Jack is spelunking through CTU. He duct tapes a hatch so the safe zone doesn’t get contaminated. Duct tape can do that; I saw Mythbusters. He takes a deep breath and heads into the gas but is stopped by bars blocking his way. He gets back into the airlock and signals Chloe. Chloe finds the bars in another schematic and says the only person that can reach will have to be from holding. Jack calls Lynn and convinces him that only he can do this and he will die in the effort. The redshirt will also die but who cares about him.
• Lynn takes a deep breath and heads into the gas. He shuts down the program and makes it back to the holding cell. Chloe gets the AC working and reports that CTU should be clean in 15 minutes. Jack tells Lynn and the guard that it worked and that he is sorry. The guard dies first and then Lynn gets the close-up slow death. Kim sees how much this hurts her father but doesn’t comfort him in any way.
• Jack is getting ready to head to Henderson and tells Chloe to concentrate on his files. He moves to talk to Kim but she damn near tells him to fuck off. I hate your guts Kim Bauer. Audrey asks Jack if he is all right and he just says “no”.
• Mike and Martha try to explain to Charles that Gardner’s marshal law statement is a bad idea. Martha switches to a personal plea and Charles breaks down because he doesn’t know how much more he can take. These Itzin scenes are amazing.
• Bierko calls Stenger about the schematics he needs for his next attack. Stenger is a female baddie so she is in bed with a man. Don’t be so obvious because I’m growing tired of this 24.
• Karen calls Bill to tell him that Homeland Security is on their way to fuck up your shit, which the prick, Miles, is already doing to their computers.
• The barriers lift and Jack says goodbye to Kim before heading to Henderson.
• Henderson is unconscious and Tony tells Jack that he is taking over. He knocks out the agent with him and gets some wacky drugs ready to finish off Henderson. He stands over him but can’t do it. Henderson does the horror movie awakening and stabs Tony with his own needle. He runs off. Jack rushes into medical to see the aftermath and holds Tony as he is dying. Tony says, “she’s gone” and dies. You hear me 24 he dies. Jack cries. There is no silent clock but I haven’t decided if season 7 exists yet.

Ridiculousness:

• I need to understand something. Does CTU not have shifts of people to do the work? Chloe doesn’t work 24/7 so there have to be an entire lineup of CTU workers who were not in the office when the nerve gas was released. Couldn’t they come in and replace the dead folk? And why does it seem that Homeland Security is firing everyone from CTU? Nerve gas killed dozens of your coworkers so we feel the most humane thing to do will be to fire the rest of you.
• And now we know why a random holding cell became a safe zone, we needed to give Lynn McGill a heroic death. Couldn’t he have at least been in Bill’s office or something? No, they are able to keep one holding room out of whatever number of holding rooms they have safe?

Running Totals:

The healing power of Jack tears: 1 (9)

• Jack loses his best non-Chloe friend.

Day 5: 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Barry Landes (C. Thomas Howell): First we had a Russian sex slave, now we have Kim’s therapist/lover. I just threw up in my mouth.
• Hal Gardner (Ray Wise): You cast Ray Wise when you want the audience not to trust a character. This is all a lead up to make us trust Charles Logan until the big reveal.

Returning Characters:

• Kim Bauer (Last episode of season 3)

Key Moments:

• Ostroff has changed into a spiffy suit and heads to his new job at CTU. He tells Bierko that he just needs to alter Lynn’s access on the keycard.
• Kim is back at CTU … I just blacked out for a minute there. Audrey calls Jack to tell him that she has arrived. She convinces Jack that it would be better if Kim heard the truth from her instead of seeing Jack reappear from the dead. Henderson hears Jack’s side of the conversation. He comments on Jack’s shitty relationship with his daughter and tells him that Chase left her after Jack “died”. Good for you Chase.
• Audrey meets with Kim but can’t get ride of the douchebag that is with her. She tells her that Jack is alive. Kim has no response.
• Vice President Gardner shows up at the retreat. He is pushing for a harder stance over the Russian threats. He wants Logan to preemptively declare marshal law. Logan listens over Mike’s objections.
• Jack and Henderson arrive at CTU. Henderson tells him that he doesn’t want to know what he knows. Jack is not easily swayed by threats.
• Hopefully using a different entrance, Ostroff enters CTU using Lynn’s keycard.
• Jack and Audrey talk before he speaks with Kim. She doesn't know anything about the douchebag. Jack and Kim meet. Barry talks shit so Jack just says “Kim” and she sends Barry out before he catches a quick case of death. Kim gives him shit because Kim sucks. In fact this is the deepest point of my hatred for Kim Bauer. Jack tries to apologize but she doesn’t want him near her. Jack asks her to stay a bit longer.
• Ostroff enters one of the CTU tech rooms that has a convenient big ass ventilation fan.
• For some reason, when Tony asks who killed Michelle Bill tells him Henderson.
• Henderson is in the crucifix position getting ready for the CTU liquid pain. Jack and Audrey watch from the other room. Jack starts Henderson’s questioning. Henderson knows the game too well and even compliments Jack on his tactics but says he can’t tell him what he wants to know. The first needle enters Henderson.
• Mike interrupts Martha’s smoke break to tell her that Logan needs her help in dealing with Gardner.
• Ostroff is messing around on a computer and Edgar sends a minion to figure out what is going on. Ostroff sets the canister next to the fan.
• Ostroff kills the tech that Edgar sent to the tech room. He then sets the canister to a 15-minute timer.
• Kim brings her bitchiness to Chloe since Chloe knew Jack was alive. In another moment where I want to marry Chloe O’Brian, she tells Kim that 4 people knew Jack was alive. 2 are dead and Tony is fucked up. She is only alive because Jack saved her so fuck off Kim. Your father is a goddamned national treasure.
• Bill tells Lynn that her sister has been killed. When Bill says the boyfriend is dead too and they were executed, Lynn owns up to his missing keycard. Bill calls Chloe to check Lynn’s access and finding Ostroff’s entrance locks down CTU.
• Henderson refuses to talk and the continued torture could kill him. He is sent to the clinic to stabilize. Bill calls Jack to tell him about the lockdown.
• Edgar finds Ostroff and Jack runs off to catch him. Ostroff takes a hostage. Edgar heads off to find his missing tech. Ostroff kills the hostage when he can’t get access to an exit. Jack finds the dead guard and sends misinformation through comm. so Ostroff hears it and exposes himself. Jack catches him at the door. Ostroff reaches for his second gun and Jack takes him out. Jack finds the timer and a schematic of CTU. Bill orders an evacuation. Edgar finds the dead tech. The nerve gas is released into the ventilation system. Chloe locks down 3 rooms, Bill’s office, the briefing room, and the clinic. Bill heads to his office, Jack sends Henderson to the clinic, and everyone else heads into the briefing room. There are bodies dropping everywhere! And Edgar comes running into the area just so Chloe can watch him die. Silent clock.

Ridiculousness:

• Of course, Kim gets listed but Kim and her therapist were a new kind of awful.

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 1 (31)

• The liquid torture of Henderson is much more dramatic than in past seasons.

Jack’s body count: 1 (116)

• Ostroff misjudged Jack Bauer.

Day 5: 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Miriam Henderson (JoBeth Williams): Henderson’s poor wife that has no idea who she is married to.

Returning Characters:

None

Key Moments:

• Tony is awake and Bill lies to him about Michelle being very much dead. Tony wants to talk to Jack.
• A shocked and awed Martha tells Pierce a little bit too much about Charles.
• Bierko sends Ostroff after the keycard.
• Jack calls CTU about being bombed by Henderson. Chloe tells him that Henderson’s home computer is transferring data. Jack tells Bill he will go alone since Henderson thinks he is dead.
• Curtis is looking over the bodies from the motorcade ambush and finds a set of blueprints. There is a time written on it; 6 pm.
• Since no one will tell him anything about Michelle, Tony drags his ass out of the hospital bed and accesses the data himself. This means he sees Michelle’s dead body on the computer screen.
• Martha and the Suvarovs arrive back at the retreat. Martha is pissed at Charles.
• Edgar identifies the blueprints as a LA hospital.
• One of Bierko’s men has the canister and is dressed as an orderly.
• Jack is outside Henderson’s home and spots his wife through the window.
• Curtis talks to security at the hospital and has them evacuate the building.
• Jack enters Henderson’s home and breaks everything down to Miriam. He even pulls his gun on her to show his sincerity. He just wants to get into Henderson’s computer.
• Martha thanks Pierce personally … in her room … alone. Mike walks in for the soap opera moment.
• Russian intelligence has passed along information on Bierko. CTU gets to work.
• Chloe can’t find anything on Henderson’s computer, but she does find a secret drive that she can’t get into. Miriam doesn’t know the password so Jack tells Chloe she will have to hack into it.
• Hospital security finds Bierko’s man. Curtis and his team go after him.
• The canister is set with a 10-minute countdown. Curtis spots and kills him when he draws his gun. They find the canister and pop on their gasmasks.
• Chloe tells Jack she will need half a day to crack the secret drive. Henderson arrives home and Jack cracks him upside the head. He has him cuff himself and puts him on the couch next to his wife. Henderson talks shit since he taught Jack everything. When Miriam says her husband is innocent, Jack opens his briefcase and spills a shitload of cash onto the table. Henderson talks shit about how Jack is going to shoot him in the leg and then move on from there. Jack thinks on this and shoots Miriam instead! Even this doesn’t break Henderson, so Jack decides to bring him to CTU for some chemical torture.
• Curtis finds the remote timer and now knows he only has 1 minute. He grabs the bomb and makes a run for it. He places it in the containment unit with seconds to spare.
• Ostroff thankfully executes Jenny and her boyfriend. He calls Bierko to tell him that he now has the CTU keycard.

Ridiculousness:

Clean hour

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 1 (30)

• Shooting the innocent wife was a new tactic for Jack.

Day 5: 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Christopher Henderson (Peter Weller): I don’t know if being Robocop gives you any kind of awesome actor cred, but Weller is fantastic as the mentor that Jack needs to take down.

Returning Characters:

Nope

Key Moments:

• Bierko tells his men that they will ambush the Suvarovs in 40 minutes.
• Mike tells Logan the same thing then gets a phone call saying that Martha is in the limo. He tells Logan who flips out and demands to get her on the phone. Martha thinks she is forcing Charles’ hand so she won’t get out of the limo.
• Audrey talks to Edgar and Lynn sees this and yells at Edgar. Curtis is back at CTU and sees this.
• Chloe and Audrey are working on the Omnicron connection for Jack. They made the gas and Jack tells them that Henderson recruited him to CTU. He eventually investigated him for corruption which cost Henderson his job even though he wasn’t found guilty. Audrey asks Edgar to cover for Chloe.
• Logan is begging Mike to find him a way out of this situation. Mike tells him that it is simple; he either alerts the motorcade or Martha is going die with the Suvarovs.
• Lynn fires someone for answering the phone. Curtis spots this and does nothing.
• Chloe sets Jack’s cover up for Omnicron right before Lynn shows up and argues with Audrey.
• Jack arrives at Omnicron and gets past security. Audrey calls Henderson’s secretary to get her out of the way and Jack moves in to his office with his gun out. Henderson nails him with a stun gun right when he walks through the door. He smelling salts him to life so they can have a conversation. Jack uses his loud voice to explain the situation and Henderson acts appalled. Jack asks for proof so Henderson tosses him the gun and agrees to take him to the bunker where the gas was manufactured.
• Edgar discovers NSA chatter saying that the Suvarovs motorcade may be a target. He and Chloe bring it to Lynn who just screams at him. Curtis disagrees but Lynn is a prick.
• Audrey finds out about the chatter and makes another attempt with Lynn who just screams like a psychopath. Audrey leaves the office and begins plans to get around Lynn about the motorcade. She tells Curtis that they need to remove Lynn. Curtis doesn’t agree or disagree.
• Logan is staring at a picture of Martha when Mike checks in. Logan will not back down but the decision is crushing him. He asks Mike to pray with him.
• Lynn figures out what Audrey and friends are doing so he moves to arrest Edgar and Chloe along with removing Audrey from CTU. Curtis tries to argue against this so Lynn tells the redshirts to arrest Curtis. Curtis says he will draw his weapon if anyone moves on him so Lynn tells the guards to shoot Curtis! The guard realizes what is going on and asks Curtis what to doo. Curtis has Lynn removed and brings Bill to the floor.
• Bill begins undoing all of Lynn’s damage and informs the President about the threat to the motorcade. Logan is quiet but Mike covers by telling Bill that Martha is in the limo. After the call, Mike tells Logan that there is nothing they can do because Secret Service has been notified.
• Pierce is warned seconds before the ambush. A missile hits the Suvarov’s limo. It is bulletproof so the Russians turn to a flamethrower. Pierce awakes in the wreckage in time to shoot and blow up the flamethrower.
• Logan is told that the ambush was thwarted and Martha is alive but he and Mike discuss Bierko’s retaliation.
• Henderson and Jack enter the secure bunker to research the nerve gas. The team that manufactured the gas was killed. Henderson leaves to go get tech support. Jack can’t get an outside line and realizes that Henderson tricked him. He is locked in the bunker with a bomb. Henderson walks to his car on the phone with someone telling them that they are clean. Jack moves the bomb to the door and hides. Henderson detonates the bomb and the bunker goes boom. Jack crawls out of the floor.
• Bierko calls Logan with more threats.

Ridiculousness:

• Lynn is completely reckless during this hour. I know that was the point but it is very annoying to watch.

Running Totals:

No cliches

Day 5: 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Vladimir Bierko (Julian Sands): The third and final Russian that Jack chases during Day 5. For a man that planned to take the nerve gas back to Russia, he sure has plenty of fallback plans against the United States.
• Ostroff (Alexander Kuznetsov): One of Bierko’s men who actually gets dialogue and will go on to do some serious stuff at CTU.

Returning Characters:

Not here

Key Moments:

• Erwich delivers the remaining canisters to Bierko. He gets stabbed in the stomach for using a canister and trusting the Americans. Bierko sends his men after Nathanson. Nathanson is already on the run as he finds out that all of his people are being killed.
• Lynn calls his sister looking for his keycard.
• After getting ripped apart by Logan, Lynn walks into a CTU briefing and demands that Jack be arrested right NOW. That has always worked in the past.
• Bill gives the order to Curtis, who is able to talk Jack into surrendering to him and heading back to CTU.
• Nathanson calls Audrey and wants a clean line to Jack. She transfers him to Jack, while Jack is with Curtis. Nathanson wants to meet alone in 10 minutes. When Curtis slows up at a stop sign, Jack chokes him out. He leaves him on the side of the road, takes his gun, and steals his SUV.
• Curtis tells Lynn what Jack did. Lynn is pissed and tells Chloe to track Jack’s cell. Audrey asks Chloe to wipe her phone records. She does this but Lynn was looking at them as it happened.
• Bierko calls Logan to tell him that he didn’t sanction the attack on America. He wants to attack Russia. He gives Logan 15 minutes to give him the Suvarov’s motorcade route through LA.
• Lynn is pissed and demanding answers from Bill. He gets even angrier when Bill tells him that Jack and Audrey were involved back in the day.
• Jack reaches Nathanson’s meeting point and they argue over being a “patriot”. Before Nathanson can lead Jack to his position, a helicopter lands and the two of them scramble.
• Audrey tells Bill about the Nathanson call before Lynn shows up to look over her shoulder.
• Nathanson is trying to escape to the roof but there are too many of Bierko’s men. He reaches the roof and gets shot in the leg and pinned down. Jack shoots the 2 men before they can take out Nathanson. But the helicopter reappears and finishes off Nathanson. Jack takes out the helicopter’s motor with a handgun. The dying Nathanson passes Jack a memory chip.
• Ostroff calls Bierko to tell him that Nathanson is dead but he had help.
• Jack sends the memory chip data to Chloe.
• Before Mike and Logan can decide on what to do about motorcade, Martha pops up to get angry over even discussing Beirko’s demands.
• Chloe tells Bill that she needs Audrey’s clearance to read the data Jack sent her. Bill distracts Lynn and Chloe and Audrey open up the data. Lynn flips out and arrests Bill.
• Chloe calls Jack and tells him that the data implicates a company called Omnicron. Jack asks if a man named Christopher Henderson works there.
• Logan sends the route to Bierko, but Martha takes matters into her own hands and hops in the limo with the Suvarovs. Pierce comes along for the ride too.

Ridiculousness:

• Martha Logan randomly hopping into the limo of Russian President would happen in what universe?

Running Totals:

Jack loves America not Americans: 1 (17)

• Poor Curtis gets his ass kicked by Jack.

Jack’s million-dollar dream: 1 (5)

• Curtis is put to sleep.

Jack’s body count: 2 (115)

• Jack gets a couple of Bierko’s men.

Day 5: 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Polokoff (Timothy Omundson): He will be dead by the end of the hour but he is the man ordering Jack around at the mall. Also went from this role directly to Pysch where he is most definitely not a Russian.

Returning Characters:

No sir

Key Moments:

• Jack pretends to be Rossler and takes the call from Erwich. He gets the location and proposes to CTU that he will take the meeting. Erwich sends Polokoff to the meeting but also tells another thug to find an option C of releasing the gas.
• Mike convinces Logan to lay off exposing Walt now that he is dead and gone. Logan says Martha won’t like that, but Mike counters by saying she isn’t the President.
• Jack heads off to the meeting alone with Curtis doing passive tracking from afar. It’s always fun to see Jack pretend to be scared and paranoid. He plays engineer with the help of Chloe talking in his ear. He finishes putting together the detonator and gets punched in the gut for his troubles. Polokoff tosses him in the van and drives off. Audrey wants Curtis to take the van but Lynn wants to let this play out so Jack can lead them to the rest of the canisters.
• In one of the many fantastic moments that you get from Charles Logan, Martha storms in after finding out that Walt isn’t being exposed. Charles and Mike argue their case but Martha says she will go to the public herself. Charles says fine, start with Walt’s wife who has arrived to pick up his body.
• Jack converses with his kidnappers so CTU can hear their plans. They are going to field test the detonator and CTU figures out that it is at a mall. Audrey pushes to take them again but Lynn denies. Bill says that it is a decision for the President.
• Jack and his Russian friends walk through the mall. A security guard is killed and one of the Russians goes to work on the ducting. Jack listens in as the situation is explained to Logan. Logan being Logan tries to push the decision off on to CTU but Bill has none of that shit and says you are the President and this is your job. Logan says release the gas. Jack is not down with this so he gives Polokoff the wrong code. He gets knocked out and cuffed to a table for his failure. Erwich tells Polokoff that there is another way.
• When one of the thugs moves to kill Jack, he uses his dangerous legs to break his neck. Polokoff escapes after releasing the gas. Jack grabs a gas mask and shuts the nerve gas down after about a minute. In a great moment, Jack runs around the mall in a gasmask scaring the hell out of everyone. Bodies are dropping all over the place. Jack shuts down the ventilation system. Since security guards and adults don’t really matter, Jack takes the time to save a cute little girl. He calls Bill and tells him to track the detonator that Polokoff is holding.
• Polokoff calls Erwich and tells him what happened. Erwich tells him to come back to the shop but is shady about it.
• Logan gives Lynn shit for Jack disobeying orders.
• Martha punks out and doesn’t tell Walt’s wife the truth.
• Jack and Curtis are tracking Polokoff back to the machine shop. Erwich calls Polokoff and tells him what to do and when Jack moves in to capture him Polokoff kills himself.

Ridiculousness:

• I’m not sure if we find out in this hour, but I’m complaining now. If Lynn got mugged and lost his keycard, how the hell did he get back into CTU?

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 1 (113)

• Jack would totally kill Sayid Jarrah in a leg fight.

Damnit!: 1 (12)

• Jack is sad to see Polokoff kill himself.

Day 5: 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Jenny McGill (Penny Balfour): Lynn has a meth-head sister. Yup.
• Jacob Rossler (Patrick Bauchau): The engineer Erwich contacts to find a way to trigger the nerve gas. Likes his girl’s young.
• Dwayne Thompkins (Matthew Boylan): Jenny’s meth-head boyfriend. Yup.

Returning Characters:

Not here

Key Moments:

• Walt explains everything he knows and uses the old standby that he is a “patriot”. He gives up the name James Nathanson but his number is no longer in service when they call it. Logan sends Walt away and then practically begs Jack to stay on to find the nerve gas.
• Erwich is told that they can’t trigger the nerve gas without help.
• Jenny calls Lynn begging for money.
• Rossler calls Erwich with instructions on how to trigger the nerve gas canisters.
• CTU tapped this phone call and sends the address to Jack.
• Jack and Audrey discuss him staying on and how this will expose him to the Chinese. He asks her to bring Kim to CTU so he can talk to her in person.
• Erwich brings the canisters to a machine shop and puts a gun to machinist head so he will cut into the canisters for him.
• Martha meets with Charles so she can slap him. He begs her to stay and help him. Mike arrives next and he does the same to Mike. Mike becomes the new Chief of Staff. The 3 of them discuss what to do about Walt.
• Chloe needs Spenser’s help to gain access to the building where Rossler is located. Curtis meets up with Jack outside of the building.
• Spenser knocks out the cameras and Jack and Curtis gain access to the lobby then the elevators. Jack drags the guard with them and knocks him out in the elevator. Rossler’s guards are waiting for them and Curtis is shot in the vest (again) but Jack takes them both out. Jack moves on to Rossler and shoots him in the leg. He finds a surprise in the bedroom. It looks like someone has a mail-order teenage Russian sex slave.
• Jack begins the questioning of Rossler. He asks about Erwich but gets nothing. He has Curtis step on his wound but Rossler responds by making a list of demands that include the girl. Jack refuses but Lynn overrules and tells him to take the deal. Jack is not happy.
• Rossler happily tells Jack what Erwich wants and that he will be meeting him soon. Bill tells Jack that the girl is 15 and Jack tries to dissuade Rossler from taking her. Rossler only wants the girl.
• Now that she no longer needs his help, Chloe has Spenser removed from CTU.
• Charles and Martha are working on a public statement regarding Walt. Mike calls Logan and asks him to meet him.
• The Logans meet Mike and see that Walt has hung himself.
• Lynn meets Jenny outside of CTU and gets mugged by her boyfriend.
• Jack tells the slave that she will have to go with Rossler for a bit longer. The machinist cuts through the last canister and is killed. Erwich calls Rossler with all the canister codes. Erwich will call back with a location for their meeting. And in a shocking twist, the slave kills Rossler.

Ridiculousness:

• Russian sex slave? And the government would agree to the deal even after they find out she is 15 years old?

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 2 (112)

• Jack kills both of Rossler’s guards.

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 1 (29)

• Jack brings back the partner stepping on the wound that he and Chase used years ago.

Day 5: 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

None here

Returning Characters:

None here II

Key Moments:

• Jack convinces Bill, Audrey, and eventually Lynn that he can get to Walt Cummings. He says he will use Mike Novick to get close to Walt.
• While Logan, Walt, and Mike watch a nerve gas demonstration video, Jack sends Mike a text asking for a private phone call. Mike excuses himself and calls Jack. Jack gets Mike to agree to a private meeting when he drops the name Walt Cummings.
• Jack says goodbye to Diane and Derek. Forever.
• Nathanson plays Walt a recording of the phone call between Jack and Mike.
• Pierce tracks down Martha in the stables. She begs him for help and says it’s about David Palmer’s murder.
• Schaeffer does something shady to Erwich’s canisters. Erwich confronts him when he leaves the container but Schaeffer lies about his actions.
• Audrey calls Jack and pleads with him not to leave her again. Well…
• Walt admits to Logan that he leaked the location of the nerve gas. He uses politics to sway Logan into agreeing to let the terrorists take the nerve gas so they can release it remotely and kill all the terrorists in Russia. Logan realizes that Walt had Palmer assassinated and is horrified. Walt switches tracks and threatens Logan’s presidency if he doesn’t agree to his plans.
• Before Jack and Mike can begin their secret woodlands meeting, a helicopter and phalanx of Secret Service agents arrive and arrest them both.
• Pierce sees a handcuffed Jack being led into a building. He finds out that it is on the orders of Walt Cummings.
• Lynn tells CTU that the White House has ordered them off the nerve gas investigation. Bill dresses him down in front of everybody then does it again in private. Lynn agrees to disregard the order.
• Jack talks with Pierce before being moved to a detention facility. He tells him what he knows about Palmer and the nerve gas. He even uses the phrase coup d’etat, which is always awesome.
• In a scene that is beyond description, Pierce walks Jack right into Logan’s office. Jack wastes no time in beating the shit out of Walt right in front of Logan. After beating him down, he drags him against a wall. Logan admits to knowing what’s going on, but Jack says there is more to it than that. To prove his point, he takes out his knife and puts it to Walt’s eye saying he will remove one then the other then move on to other parts. Walt cracks and gives up the location of the gas. They send the location to CTU and Jack and Pierce offer Logan their resignations. Logan tells Pierce to get Walt out of his sight. Logan and Jack share some awkward time where Logan tries to defend himself, says Jack being alive is a problem, and Jack promises to disappear once the gas is found.
• Charles catches up to Martha before she is driven off to the sanitarium. He apologizes but that is not enough for Martha after what he has done.
• CTU is tracking the canisters and Jack identifies Erwich.
• The CTU unit (lead by no one with a name, where is Baker?) enters the shipping container to find Shaeffer dead and empty boxes where the canisters should have been. Jack screams for Walt to be dragged back into the room. Walt says that Schaeffer was his inside man and Erwich must have figured it out. Erwich calls with threats against everyone.

Ridiculousness:

Too awesome for anything ridiculous

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 1 (28)

• Walt gets a beating and some knife play.