In honor of Deadwood this review will be include massive amounts of profanity.
I cannot tell you how wrong it is for me to sit here and write about Deadwood while watching an episode of John From Cincinnati. It is nice for David Milch to still have an outlet for his art but damnit Deadwood was bliss. This was a show with no faults and constant improvement. The characters were still fresh, the storylines were still strong, and and and those cocksuckers killed it. I feel like Dan ripped my eye out in the middle of the thoroughfare.
There has been no other show like Deadwood. I loved it unconditionally. Al Swearengen, Seth Bullock, Dan, Doc, Sol, Trixie, Cy Tolliver, Charlie Utter, Joanie Stubbs, Ellsworth, Calamity motherfucking Jane, Wu, Hearst, Mose, the Nigger General, Hostetler, and every other motherfucker in that piece of shit town. I still hold a grudge that I am not watching the 4th season right now. This is when it would be airing but it isn’t airing and I don’t understand why. I feel like a 5 year old; I keep asking why and nobody will give me a satisfying answer. I will never see drunk Calamity Jane stumbling around and slurring her words, I will never hear Al use the word cocksucker with such panache, I will never be able to witness Bullock snap and beat the shit out of someone at the drop of a hat, I will never get the chance to hear Wu use the words Swearengen and cocksucker to construct a whole conversation, all of this just depresses the hell out of me.
Every season of Deadwood was legendary. In fact I don’t believe that there ever was a single sub-par episode. The 3rd season was no exception. After teasing George Hearst as the goddamned boogiest of men, in walks in fucking Major Dad as the ultimate badass. Beat that casting. The bad back, the discriminate killing, the ability to nearly turn Al face, Hearst had it all. One of the best parts of the George Hearst character was that it forced the ultimate tag-team of Swearengen and Bullock. Those 2 working together was pure magic. The majority of Al’s screen-time was spent in these awesome soliloquies where he would attempt to figure out how to out maneuver Hearst. On the other hand, Bullock would just pick a name out of a hat and beat the shit out of that person. Both of those plans are worthwhile choices when it comes to solving your problems. This doesn’t even touch on the Widow Garret and her bank, Trixie flashing Hearst as a distraction before shooting him, Mose and Jane watching over the children, Hostetler, the Nigger General, Steve, and the livery, scenery chewing Bryan Cox, and whatever else I have forgotten in the last year. It is too painful to go back and read about the specifics.
I cannot tell you how wrong it is for me to sit here and write about Deadwood while watching an episode of John From Cincinnati. It is nice for David Milch to still have an outlet for his art but damnit Deadwood was bliss. This was a show with no faults and constant improvement. The characters were still fresh, the storylines were still strong, and and and those cocksuckers killed it. I feel like Dan ripped my eye out in the middle of the thoroughfare.
There has been no other show like Deadwood. I loved it unconditionally. Al Swearengen, Seth Bullock, Dan, Doc, Sol, Trixie, Cy Tolliver, Charlie Utter, Joanie Stubbs, Ellsworth, Calamity motherfucking Jane, Wu, Hearst, Mose, the Nigger General, Hostetler, and every other motherfucker in that piece of shit town. I still hold a grudge that I am not watching the 4th season right now. This is when it would be airing but it isn’t airing and I don’t understand why. I feel like a 5 year old; I keep asking why and nobody will give me a satisfying answer. I will never see drunk Calamity Jane stumbling around and slurring her words, I will never hear Al use the word cocksucker with such panache, I will never be able to witness Bullock snap and beat the shit out of someone at the drop of a hat, I will never get the chance to hear Wu use the words Swearengen and cocksucker to construct a whole conversation, all of this just depresses the hell out of me.
Every season of Deadwood was legendary. In fact I don’t believe that there ever was a single sub-par episode. The 3rd season was no exception. After teasing George Hearst as the goddamned boogiest of men, in walks in fucking Major Dad as the ultimate badass. Beat that casting. The bad back, the discriminate killing, the ability to nearly turn Al face, Hearst had it all. One of the best parts of the George Hearst character was that it forced the ultimate tag-team of Swearengen and Bullock. Those 2 working together was pure magic. The majority of Al’s screen-time was spent in these awesome soliloquies where he would attempt to figure out how to out maneuver Hearst. On the other hand, Bullock would just pick a name out of a hat and beat the shit out of that person. Both of those plans are worthwhile choices when it comes to solving your problems. This doesn’t even touch on the Widow Garret and her bank, Trixie flashing Hearst as a distraction before shooting him, Mose and Jane watching over the children, Hostetler, the Nigger General, Steve, and the livery, scenery chewing Bryan Cox, and whatever else I have forgotten in the last year. It is too painful to go back and read about the specifics.
Deadwood should still be on television. Those hoopleheaded cocksuckers at HBO killed a piece of my soul by getting rid of it. And now all I have are the words of Calamity Jane to hold on to, “every day takes figuring out all over again how to fuckin’ live.” You know what that statement is not strong enough. Calamity take 2, “Custer (HBO) was a cunt. The end.”
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