Street Kings

Maybe if the first few months of the year hadn’t been so godawful I would have shit all over Street Kings. But since 2008 has been complete ass, I actually enjoyed Street Kings in some sick perverse way. It is derivative and full of itself, but what the hell it had Forest and House playing well below their pay-grade and fun people like Common and Jay Mohr just popping up.

Its funny that this movie is looked at negatively because it is similar to Training Day. The director, David Ayer, wrote freaking Training Day. So Street Kings is just like it except much much worse in every conceivable fashion. There was not a single improvement made on the original. You can’t swap Denzel for Keanu and Ethan Hawke for Chris Evans; that is highway robbery. Then again the story does veer off in enough different directions that it is not a complete rip-off. Forest and Hugh Laurie’s characters alter the storyline enough and Keanu is not as bad a man as Denzel so there you go. It was hilarious how the ending made it seem like there are more stories to tell in the Street Kings universe. Really? Why? What did I do wrong?

The casting of this movie is what sold it for me. I may have low expectation for Keanu Reeves, but that doesn’t stop me from paying to see his movies. The man has been 25 years old for the last 2 decades. He is completely unbelievable as some war worn vet cop who has seen too much. Let alone showing some youngster the ropes. I’m a little worried about Forrest Whitaker since he seems too comfortable pulling out the Idi Amin performance when he feels its time to go over the top. Hopefully this doesn’t become his Pacino-like acting choice. Captain House?! That was brilliant. I demand more Hugh Laurie and his American accent. And how is that the least gangsta rapper of all-time, Common, keeps getting cast in the thug role? This seems to go against his entire rap career. Was this the greatest Cedric the Entertainer performance? I say yes. Was that really Jay Mohr? What happened? Why the porn mustache? These questions are why I don't hate Street Kings.

The entirety of Street Kings can be summed up with Terry Crews getting unloaded on point blank with semi-automatics for about 30 seconds, yet there are only a handful of bullet wounds. As long as stopped thinking it went fine.

5 out of 10