10,000 B.C.

We are just piling on contenders for piece of shit movie of 2008. This time around I get to piss on 10,000 B.C. and believe me it deserves it. This was an awful movie. There is absolutely nothing to recommend and to preserve my sanity this will be over as soon as possible.

The fact that 10,000 B.C. was awful shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. After seeing woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers in the trailer, what else was there to look forward to? And since I’m no longer 6 years old, seeing computer generated mammoths and sabertoothes a second time is not enough. The addition of crazy raptor-like chickens did not help. The extinct creatures were one of the main selling points but all of those scenes were disappointing. The mammoths always looked fake, the tiger scene was horrendous because the main character becomes Ka-Zar and is able to communicate with the sabretooth who may or may not be Zabu, and I think crazy fighting chickens speaks for itself. On top of weak creatures, there was no believability with the human characters. This reminded me of Pathfinder where the idea seems to be throw some animal skins on them and bam you have been transported back in time. As for the story, well, it was just by the numbers hero faces many challenges to save his love. Of course there are heroic sacrifices, the classic winning the respect of the doubters, and even some mwahahahing villains. Complete trash.

I'm done. Screw 10,000 B.C. It didn't even do me the favor of being so bad that is becomes memorable trash. I never want to see or talk about this movie again.

2 out of 10