Resident Evil: Extinction

YES! There have been times these past few years where I worried that there wouldn’t be a third Resident Evil movie and I will admit that I wept at the thought that the franchise had ended. But here we are and Resident Evil: Extinction is out for the whole world to see. And thankfully it is exactly what the original and Apocalypse was, pure enjoyable trash. The big change this time around is that we are now firmly within the world of Mad Max and Alice is now Jean Grey. How sweet is that?

There were so many unanswered questions at the end of Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Wait you don’t care? But she killed the security guard with her mind? Dude, her mind made that guy’s eyes bleed! And how was this all explained in Extinction? Um, it wasn’t explained so I will assume Umbrella turned her into Jean Grey. Telekinesis rules. So Milla Jovovich starts off with her new mutant power along with riding a bike through the desert like freaking Mad Max. I cannot be more excited to write that sentence. But I can’t say that it is all great for Alice this time around. Although she was nude during many scenes in Extinction, they went with the whole strategic covering of the naughty bits. That’s not the Resident Evil I came to know and love. Give me a moment to get over this loss.

They brought back lots of other survivors from the second movie. Which was better than how Apocalypse only brought back Alice and I’ll stretch to include the flashback to the guy who became Nemesis. Extinction brought back the evil doctor, the STARS dude, and for whatever sick twisted reason Mike Epps. Don’t ask why the 2 most important other non-Alice survivors, Jill and the little girl, were ignored because I don’t have an answer for you. Seems like that shouldn't have been left hanging. The two additions to the cast that left any sort of a mark were Ali Larter and Ashanti. Well truthfully I just wanted to mention that Ashanti was in the damn movie because do you remember when Ashanti was relevant? Ali was completely acceptable as Claire. It is amusing to see her act badass but Heroes has made that seem less ridiculous. You won’t confuse her with Michelle Rodriguez but this isn’t exactly Denise Richards as nuclear scientist. No one else matters because they are just all cannon fodder. Introduce them, give them an obvious character trait, then kill them violently, and the more the better. I almost forgot; the head of Umbrella is a badass because he wears sunglasses to major company meetings. Sunglasses! Indoors! In a professional setting!

Do you really care about the story? All that matters is zombies appear and get killed in massive numbers. Birds have been infected, swarm, and peck people to death. Umbrella’s plans don’t even make sense. And the ending leaves multiple plotlines for the hopefully 4th Resident Evil. Man, I can only dream.

Lets get this straight. I do not recommend Resident Evil: Extinction. While the franchise is not awful, it sure as hell wouldn’t be confused with quality. What can I say? I am a sucker for the continuing adventures of Alice vs. the Umbrella corporation. This is just more of the same.

5 out of 10