Clash of the Titans

Screw you Hollywood! Within 30 days you have completely destroyed any desire I had to see movies in the third dimension. I will pay whatever it costs to see movies in the theater because I love it so, but this naked cash grab is so offensive that I might have to now boycott future movies if I can’t see them on regular screens. That is just the long way of saying that Clash of the Titans had nothing to offer me but a pain on the bridge of my nose when I finally took the glasses off.

Hey I like monsters and I like Greek mythology but sometimes that is not enough to sustain my interest. Believe me, I’ve seen cheaper looking movies so it wasn’t that the Kraken looked lame or the giant scorpions were laughable instead it just felt unnecessary. Nothing new was brought to the table, you knew who was going to die, you knew when they were going to die, and you knew the final outcome before the story even got in gear. And that is not because of Harry Hamlin because I don’t even remember the original Clash of the Titans. Worse of all, you can’t botch the final confrontation because it skews the whole movie and that is exactly what happened here. Everything was building to Perseus’ battle with Hades and when it finally happened it was over before it even started.

What a waste of Liam Neeson, Ralph Fienes, and Mads Mikkelsen time. Liam stood around in his blurry armor and spoke in his Narnia god-voice. That’s it. Voldemort is easily the better Ralph Fiennes super villain. And this is the best Hollywood role Mads could get after being a Bond villain? I have nothing bad to say about Sam Worthington he is completely serviceable as the everyman blockbuster movie actor. Nobody else worth mentioning.

Oh wait a second, what month is it? April? That is why Clash of the Titans, a movie that should have been a big summer blockbuster, was a complete waste of time. Still got my 3 extra bucks though...

5 out of 10