Spider-Man 3

And so it goes. For the third time around there was an obvious decline in all phases. Not to the level of suck, but there is now a clear delineation between the great the Spider-Man movies, 1 and 2, and the rest of the chum. Maybe in time I will be able to accept the second act of Spider-Man 3, but at this moment in time I hate it more than anything I have ever hated in a previous Spider-Man movie. And it has just dragged down the whole film to a level I never expected it to fall.

I don’t want to sound like there was a complete lack good here. The Harry Osborn storyline was particularly strong. Yes I may be concentrating on massive head wound Harry with the brainless smile but can ya blame me? Topher Grace’s work as Eddie Brock, though annoyingly cut short, was also a highlight. I think it was his comedic timing that helped him deliver good work with such minimal screen-time. Later on I am going to attack the over abundance of CGI but first I need to mention some of the scenes where it delivered. The first couple of Sandman fights looked real good and contained some creative uses for Flint Marko’s abilities. Also the birth of the black suit and the birth of Venom both had that horror movie feel and conveyed the magnitude of what was taking place. And finally just like the second movie the Daily Bugle and Peter’s apartment lead to the best humor in the film. JJJ taking his pills and Evil Peter demanding cookies were just great stuff.

Now that we have moved on to the negative, I think I’ll start with the smaller issues first. 4 musical numbers? Really? I don’t care how small or innocuous some were, it is still 4 more than X2 or Batman Begins. Moving the hell along as fast as possible. Let’s turn to the aforementioned CGI. The problem with lots of CGI is that some of it will be lacking. Major sections of the first Goblin Jr. fight were so glaringly computer-generated that it screwed up my concentration. Snowboarding Goblin doesn’t help to sell the visual either. The final fight also had weak moments; monster Sandman was awful and the obvious switch to computer Spider-Man when he is slamming down the pipes hurt that moment. But we are not stopping at CGI. The Peter/Mary Jane relationship seemed force this time around. Since it was necessary for them to be in a bad place all sorts of melodrama was shoehorned just to give Peter reason to turn to the black suit. I do not want to even acknowledge evil haired, evil dancing Spider-Man. I hate that that section exists, well except for cookie demands I could have done with more cookie demands. And my biggest criticism falls to the split attention paid to Sandman and Venom. Instead of adding depth to the stronger Eddie Brock storyline, we get one weak scene with Marko’s family and then a bunch of fights over money. On top of that, we get a retcon of Uncle Ben’s death so that Flint could be there. That is the height of forcing the issue. See not only is Flint Marko a dangerous threat to Spider-Man, he killed his Uncle Ben! This time it’s personal. And the whole damn point was for Venom and Sandman to team up so Peter and Harry could put their problems behind them and fight together. They could have just shown that Venom was that strong. But instead, they never even established what Venom could do! His first fight in the movie is the final battle. How did Peter know he couldn’t handle Venom and Sandman together? For all he knew, Venom could have been a pushover. Outside of birth and Topher’s humor, the whole damn Venom experience was a big disappointment. Wait a second that doesn’t sound right, change that to the whole damn movie was a big disappointment.

What a kick in the groin. The first weekend in May bats lead off for the entire summer and to have such a weak fly out begin things has soured me for the entire summer. This all goes back to expectations and when you are dealing with a franchise of films it is impossible not to judge a film against its previous incarnations. So it is for that reason that I have damned Spider-Man 3. And you know what? I don’t want a Spider-Man 4; let this be the end of the series.

6 out of 10