Alien3

I cannot review this movie fast enough. The sooner I get past it means the sooner I get to move on to Se7en. Believe me, if it were possible to skip Alien3 and still properly judge David Fincher that would be my course of action. But alas here we are at the foot of the movie that killed the legitimacy of the Alien franchise which was then desecrated with Alien: Resurrection and finally set upon a pyre, ignited, and then sent out to sea with AVP: Alien vs. Predator. So in retrospect I guess Alien3 wasn’t all that bad. Since I purchased the Alien Quadrilogy, just for Alien and Aliens, now is finally the time to crack open the rest of the discs. This also means I will be using the Special Edition which just extended the pain for 30 more minutes.

When it comes to the Alien franchise each discussion begins and ends with Sigourney Weaver. Although this is nowhere near here best performance of the 4, it definitely is the baldest performance. If I were to make a list of things that are badass in movies, a female who shaves her head then proceeds to rip shit up would be near the top of the list. This also is the movie where Lt. Ripley ends the story by plunging herself into molten lava, more badass. Look there is a reason why Ripley is one of my favorite film characters of all time. As for Fincher, he can’t be blamed for the incomprehensible story and the fact that the special edition adds a half hour of footage makes it seem like he had no control over the final product. But his name is in the credits so his hands can only get so clean. Still I have to point out even in a bad movie he creates one of the most famous shots of the franchise when Ripley cowers against the wall and the alien leans into frame with both of its mouths brushing against Ripley’s face. Good stuff. The chase through the corridors also includes some nice camera tricks, so the whole thing wasn’t a waste.

I said the whole thing wasn’t a waste; that still leaves significant portions of refuse that I had to sift through. Outside of Roc Dutton, all non-Ripley characters are mere window dressing. They all look and dress the same with there only reason for existence being to die horribly. I couldn’t tell you who is who. Even with Dutton’s character, it is fun to hear him sermonize once maybe twice but not every single time he is on camera. I am not even going to make an attempt to explain the story. The first movie was an actual full story, the second one had a decent story but great action, by the third they just decided action would be enough. It is not. People versus aliens only means slasher flick not best movie of the year. To top off the crap, this was early 90s CGI so when the alien is running through the corridors it is just laughable to see it onscreen. Who doesn’t love Sega Genesis graphics?

Alien3 was definitely a stumbling out of the blocks for David Fincher. Of course we now know he survived, but sadly we also know that the franchise did not. It is very disappointing to see since the Ripley character with Sigourney at the helm is so strong. That was all thrown out the window so that she could get knocked up by an alien that didn’t even have the common decency to wake her up to perform the deed. That is just lacking in chivalry. The smart thing to do is just treat the Alien franchise as 2 all-time great movies with a bunch of cheap knock-offs years later that can easily be ignored.

5 out of 10