Day 6: 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Characters Introduced:

• Reed Pollock (Chad Lowe): Lennox’s squirrelly hatchet man who ends up being a whole lot worse than that.
• Phillip Bauer (James Cromwell): It’s crazy how many top-level actors showed up in these later seasons. In one of the more dumbass plot twists, Cromwell somehow brings weight to the idea that Jack’s dad is evil.

Returning Characters:

None

Key Moments:

• After Lennox and Karen argue again, Lennox turns to Reed looking for a way to get rid of Karen from Wayne’s inner circle.
• One of Lennox’s policies that have been implemented is stopping Nadia from being able to do her job. She complains to Bill about redundant security measures slowing her down but Bill tells her he can’t do anything about it today. He will bring it up with the Attorney General as soon as possible.
• Jack removes the plastic bag from Graem’s head. He is drenched in sweat and crying; he tells Jack that their father left right after the bomb went off. Jack doesn’t believe him and goes to put the bag back on when Graem starts speaking calmly. He tells Jack that their father is looking for McCarthy. Graem hired McCarthy and he is the man that stole the nukes. Phillip is trying to clean up Graem’s mess. Jack unties Graem and tells him that they are going to McCarthy’s office. Graem tells Marilyn they are looking for their father and Jack calls Chloe for an address and to get a team sent to the location.
• On their way to McCarthy’s office, Graem is just abusing Jack for going against the family. Are the Bauers some sort of WASP mafia?
• Reed gives Lennox what he needs to blackmail Karen. Lennox immediately walks up to Karen and tells her that he has evidence that Bill had Fayed detained months ago and let him go. He says Karen covered it up and wants her resignation within the hour.
• After Bill explains to Milo what is slowing Nadia down, he gives her his password so she no longer is a Muslim in the eyes of the CTU system. Of course, this leads to them giving each other the CTU stare.
• Jack and Graem arrive at an office complex. Jack breaks into McCarthy’s office and starts working on his computer. He hears a sound in another room and cuffs Graem to a bookcase. He explores the noise and gets jumped by 2 thugs. Before the fight really gets going, Phillip Bauer calls them off. Jack and Phillip jump straight into an argument. Phillip asks him to keep CTU out of it. Graem is brought into the room and returns to the idea that Jack should put family first. Eventually Jack convinces Phillip and he goes to call CTU. Graem signals the thugs and they put Jack and Phillip at gunpoint.
• McCarthy is excited that he has found an engineer for Fayed.
• Jack and Phillip are lead past the dead CTU agents. Graem says Jack forced his hand and tosses his father and brother into the back of a van.

Ridiculousness:

• I’m really interested in what these “security measures” are that are slowing Nadia down so much. Morris yells at her because something that should take seconds is taking her 10 minutes. Does she have to reenter a password after every field? Are they asking her citizenship questions every time she presses submit? Does every new screen load only when she offers a blood sample?

Running Totals:

No cliches

Day 6: 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Darren McCarthy (David Hunt): This was the role that was supposed to be Eddie Izzard. It ends up being a worthless role so Izzard backing out was the smart play but I still would have liked to see him on 24.
• Liddy (Adrian Neil) He is the Bauer family watchdog and cleaner.
• Marilyn Bauer (Rena Sofer): Graem’s wife and also some sort of former flame of Jack’s. Rena has crazy eyes. All you see is her eyes when she is on the screen.
• Josh Bauer (Evan Ellingson): Graem’s son who is about to get a crash course in the Bauer family hierarchy.
• Rita (Missy Crider): McCarthy’s woman of some sort.

Returning Characters:

• Graem Bauer (5am – 6am episode of season 5)

Key Moments:

• While everyone watches the aftermath, Lennox tells Wayne that there are at least 12,000 dead. Karen brings the news that there are 4 more nukes. Secret Service arrives to take Wayne down into the bunker.
• Fayed calls McCarthy looking for a way to detonate the other 4 nukes.
• Jack is still walking through the streets dazed, but a call for help snaps him into action. He runs to the site of a helicopter crash and saves the pilot before the chopper falls off the roof and goes boom. He calls Bill and is told about the 4 other nukes. He is back in.
• We get the first instance of the roundtable of blowing shit up. An admiral tells Wayne that they should respond by bombing the hell out of everyone everywhere. Lennox awesomely steps up and says the President is speaking.
• Assad arrives at CTU and gets the cold shoulder from Bill. They move into the briefing room and we get a great scene from Bill where he breaks down where they are at and what they need from Assad. Assad gives them a name of a Russian general Fayed met a year ago about nuclear weapons. Chloe gets to work on the name Gredenko.
• Morris has found a fantastic connection to Gredenko. Chloe brings the name Phillip Bauer to Bill. Bill calls Jack and asks him about his father but Jack tells him that he hasn’t spoken to his father in 9 years. Jack tells Bill he will handle it.
• Jack calls his father but gets his butler instead … HIS BUTLER! He doesn’t know where Phillip is but does give Jack a number for his brother, Graem. Liddy calls Graem to warn him that Jack is alive.
• Jack calls Graem and they have an awkward conversation where Graem lies his ass off to Jack. Jack doesn’t buy a word of it and calls Chloe to get Graem’s address.
• Graem arrives home and greets Marilyn and Josh. He berates Marilyn over Jack.
• McCarthy picks up Rita but doesn’t take her out of the city. Instead he needs to finish his deal with Fayed.
• After Nadia finishes Assad’s debrief, Bill walks in to tell him that the President wants him in DC. This time Bill shakes his hand.
• Jack rings Graem’s doorbell. Graem is horribly awkward and even tries to go in for the unreturned hug. Jack explains that he hasn’t seen his family since Teri’s funeral 9 years ago. Graem introduces Josh but Marilyn calls him away and Jake apologizes to Marilyn for his intrusion. Graem talks a mile a minute as he and Jack walk into his office. Instead of giving him any information about their father, Graem tells Jack to relax. Jack responds by punching him in the face. He locks the door and ties Graem to the chair.
• Jack wants answers from Graem or things are going to start to hurt. Graem continues to deny. Jack stares into his eye for about a half-minute and says “not good enough”. He then starts suffocating him with a plastic bag.

Ridiculousness:

• Didn’t you always assume that Jack Bauer came from a shitload of money? I’m talking opulent-level money.
• Remember the leader of the sketchy white men cabal controlling Logan last season? Yeah that guy was Jack’s brother. This makes perfect sense, if you get as great a man as Jack Bauer you should have an equally as evil brother to offset the balance.

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 1 (39)

• I like the old school use of suffocation by plastic bag.

Day 6: 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Ambassador (Ajay Mehta): What … the … fuck? Not only is the country never named, the man is never given a name! He is just the Ambassador all day.

Returning Characters:

Not yet

Key Moments:

• Bill is told that there is a missing prisoner at the airport.
• While Curtis takes a couple more swipes at Assad, Wayne calls Jack and asks him to lead the investigation for the suitcase nukes. Jack tries to decline but his inner Jackness means he takes the job. He turns to Curtis and asks for his support and for him to back off Assad. Curtis responds that the Chinese broke Jack. Jack starts to get into it but Assad calls them over. They found evidence that the bomb was delivered recently. As they head out, Jack calls Chloe and asks her to look for a connection between Curtis and Assad.
• The prisoner has arrived at Fayed’s warehouse and gets to work on the nuke.
• Ahmed and Ray argue over delivering the package. Ray convinces him to let his wife go with threats if she calls the authorities. Ahmed gives Ray Fayed’s address. Jillian gets away and calls the police.
• Bill sends Jillian’s call to Jack. After hearing her story, Jack takes the team to the Wallace house. He ignores Curtis’ objections over Assad being brought on a mission.
• Wayne meets with the man so good at his job that he is only known as the “Ambassador”. They talk Assad’s credibility and Wayne is told that his move towards the mainstream is legit. He calls Jack with this information and then talks with Assad. Assad is offered full immunity for his crimes in exchange for finding Fayed and bringing about peace. Curtis hears all of this, so that can’t be good.
• Ray delivers the package to Fayed. Fayed tells his people to keep Ray there and leaves the warehouse. He calls Ahmed and tells him to kill Scott and leave. Ahmed does stall for a second before agreeing.
• After talking with Karen and Lennox about how to inform the public about Assad’s assistance, Wayne thanks Lennox for his loyalty even though Wayne is not agreeing with his recommendations.
• Jack and team arrive at the Wallace house and move in. Ahmed can’t pull the trigger on Scott and after taking too long CTU bursts into the house. Ahmed tries to run but a CTU agent shoots him. Scott tells Jack that he knows the address his father delivered the package to. Jack forwards the address to Bill.
• Jack delivers the immunity deal to Assad. They shake hands because Jack is going after the bomb while Assad is heading to CTU. Curtis spies from a hallway, so Jack explains the situation to him. Jack is distracted by Jillian’s arrival and when Chloe calls telling him that Assad murdered Curtis’ team years ago, Jack starts looking for Curtis and Assad. While Assad is being lead to the SUV, Curtis walks up and grabs Assad and pushes him against the vehicle with his gun to his head. He asks Assad if he remembers Curtis. Jack tries to talk to Curtis and we get the showdown. Curtis will not back down and when it is clear he is about to pull the trigger, Jack shoots him in the fucking neck! We get a real gruesome shot of Curtis dying with a look of shock and horror on his face. Jack is completely despondent and walks off into the distance. He stops to puke and lay on the grass. Once again because he is awesome, Bill calls immediately to consol Jack. He begs and pleads for him to come back to CTU but Jack says he is done, hangs up, and breaks down.
• The CTU team is converging on the warehouse. CTU and the White House is watching the feed of them moving through and taking out many of Fayed’s men. Since they are all no named agents, they fail spectacularly as the bomb is detonated. A mushroom cloud is a way to counteract a crying Jack.
• There are 4 more suitcase nukes.
• Jack stares at a mushroom cloud in suburban LA.

Ridiculousness:

• Is there just a standard immunity deal that all these people sign? The deal Assad signed could not have detailed all of his crimes because it was ready within 15 minutes. I don’t understand at all. That doesn’t even take into account how it was all slickly bound and ready for Assad even though Jack is in the field. How did it get there?
• The Jack/Curtis showdown was fabulously acted but really annoying. Jack couldn't wound Curtis? He had to kill him? And wouldn't Curtis' past with Assad been red-flagged immediately? It's not like it was a black ops mission or anything. And damnit I liked Curtis.
• Yes a nuclear bomb detonated within LA is used as a way to show just dangerous the threat is this season. There is a problem with escalation when you use the nuclear bomb right out of the gate.

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 1 (141)

• Poor Curtis became expendable for some reason this season.

The healing power of Jack tears: 1 (10)

• Killing Curtis was a bit too much for Jack to take.

Day 6: 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

None

Returning Characters:

None II

Key Moments:

• Assad picks up Jack and they continue to track Masheer. Fayed calls Masheer and tells him to make a stop first.
• Fayed calls Wayne with an offer of a cease-fire in exchange for some prisoners, he gives Wayne an hour. Wayne gets the prisoner release moving over Karen and Lennox’s objections.
• Jack convinces Assad that they will need CTU’s assistance once traffic thins.
• Jack calls Chloe and she awesomely stutters due to her love of Jack. She connects him to Bill and Jack gives him the update. Chloe needs 10 minutes to get the satellites in position. Jack has a plan to stall Masheer. Bill calls Curtis to get him to back-up Jack. Curtis responds poorly to the idea of working with Assad. Jack carjacks some poor dude and peels off. He drives like an absolute maniac and finishes off by crashing into Masheer’s car. Assad pulls up and says he witnessed the whole thing. Jack rants and raves then drives off. Assad offers to give Masheer a lift. He leaves his cell open so he CTU can hear where they are going.
• Ahmed brings Scott into the Wallace house at gunpoint. He tells Ray that he needs to deliver a package for him since he was injured in his fight with the redneck.
• Wayne gives the go ahead to load the prisoner transports.
• Jack meets up with Curtis and they disagree on working with Assad.
• Assad lets Masheer off and talks to CTU. He meets up with Jack and Curtis. Curtis treats him like a suspect and has him searched and tells his men to watch him. Jack can’t do anything about it yet because they are tracking Masheer as he enters a storage unit. Jack realizes this is a dead drop and tells Bill that they should grab and interrogate him. Masheer spots a sniper and starts shooting. After he is shot he grabs a grenade and blows himself and the storage unit up.
• Bill tells Wayne that they can’t get to Fayed by the deadline, so Wayne okays the prisoner exchange.
• Ray delivers Ahmed’s package, which is money. The guy wants more money so Ray calls Ahmed. Ahmed tells him to deal with it so Ray kills the guy and gets the package.
• Chloe finds files on a hard drive at the storage unit. Jack calls Assad over and he identifies it as a nuclear detonator. He says his organization has never been able to obtain nuclear weapons but Fayed may have found a way. Curtis jumps Assad but Jack pulls him off. The detonator is traced to a Russian suitcase nuke. The files are traced to one of the prisoners being released.
• The guards cannot find the prisoner.
• One of the guards was paid off by Fayed and he frees the man and tells him to get to Fayed.

Ridiculousness:

More boring instead of ridiculous

Running Totals:

Like a said a real boring hour

Day 6: 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Hamri Al-Assad (Alexander Siddig): Finally 24 taps the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine well for actors. Assad goes on the pile of wasted characters. He was strong from his introduction gets sidelined then brought back and killed.
• Walid Al-Rezani (Harry Lennix): What a great actor buried in one of the worst storylines in the history of the show.
• Samuels (Scott William Winters): Oz represent once again! Another in a long line of slightly dickish government agents, this time he is a FBI agent.
• Sandra Palmer (Regina King): We get another Palmer family member. The sister is a lawyer and really freaking annoying.
• Masheer (Sammy Sheik): The suicide bomber spotter that plays the normal 24 role of the guy being tailed to find the actual bad guy.

Returning Characters:

None

Key Moments:

• Fayed calls off the search for Jack.
• Jack steals a car that luckily has a cell phone in it. He calls CTU and tells them to call off the strike on Assad. Bill connects Jack to Wayne. Jack tells him what he heard from Fayed. Assad is trying to mainstream his organization and Fayed is using these attacks to stop him. He asks Wayne to at least change the orders to capture Assad instead of bombing him. Every human being in earshot argues against Jack. Well I’m sure he’ll give and go home now. Jack hangs up and heads to Assad’s location.
• After Fayed calls about the package again, Ahmed heads back to his house.
• Jack arrives at Assad’s hideout minutes before the bombers will annihilate the place. He removes the outside guard then takes the next guy he sees hostage as he walks inside. Assad and Jack point guns at each other. Jack tells him that one of his men gave up his location to Fayed. He puts his gun down to get Assad to believe him. When a man behind Fayed picks up a gun, Jack points him out and Assad questions him. The man says Assad has failed the organization. Jack and Assad drag the man out of the building seconds before a bomb detonates the area. This is a really cool shot of the building exploding and Jack and friends diving for cover.
• The Walid plot begins and I’m not wasting any time on it.
• Curtis is at the bombing site and does not find Assad among the remains. Bill calls the White House with the bad news.
• Fayed arrives at a warehouse to give a pep talk to his next suicide bomber.
• Jack spots a moving van, so he and Assad sneak into the empty house. Jack and Assad talk about finding Fayed and whether or not Assad is really going to mainstream his organization. Assad goes quiet when Jack takes his shirt off and spots all of his scars.
• Chloe finds a satellite image of Jack and Assad running from the house before the bombing. She tells Bill and Bill, being awesome, tells her to keep it quiet and let Jack play it out. He tells her to start looking for Fayed.
• Jack and Assad disagree on involving CTU. The man wakes up and Jack switches to torture mode. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! He stabbed that dude in the shoulder with a pen! When the guys starts screaming, Jack is freaked out and stops. Jack claims the guy doesn’t know anything and walks away. Assad steps up and stabs the dude in the knee. The guy gives up the location of the suicide bomber. Assad compliments him on his convictions then kills him. Jack looks like he has seen a ghost and tells Assad that he doesn’t know if can do this anymore. Assad responds by saying that you will remember.
• Ahmed digs the package out of the wall in his house. The redneck returns and Ahmed shoots him after a bit of a scuffle. Scott arrives and Ahemd takes him hostage.
• Jack and Assad are hanging out downtown people watching. Assad spots the suicide bomber and they chase after the bomber and his spotter, Masheer. They split up with Jack going after the bomber and Assad tracking Masheer. Jack and the bomber get on the subway. Jack scares the shit out of the ticket taker and his reaction alerts the bomber that something is wrong. When he reaches for the detonator, Jack grabs his hand to initiate a sweet little fight. The bomber eventually pushes Jack away and presses the detonator. Jack reacts by kicking him out of the back of the train. The man goes boom and Jack pulls the brake. Fayed is told that the bomb went off early.
• Karen tells Wayne that a phone call was intercepted proving that Fayed is behind the attacks not Assad.
• Jack and Assad update each other and discuss tracking Masheer.

Ridiculousness:

• Milo is oddly a dick about Jack dying, which would have made sense if he were just a new guy at CTU. But not only does he know Jack, he worked with Jack years ago and saw the sacrifices he made!
• The Walid plot literally plays no part in the season’s story as a whole. They usually wrap the side plots into the main, but not this time. So here is what is going to happen. Walid runs an Islamic-American association and the FBI wants it’s membership list. This is clearly illegal and Sandra tells them to screw off. They come back with a warrant so Sandra deletes the information they are looking for in a well thought out plan. Walid and Sandra are arrested and tossed into the new Muslim interment camps. Wayne saves Sandra but Walid is put in the cage. He makes friends with some Muslims who are cheering on the attacks. He goes undercover for the FBI only to find out that they are just angry citizens getting information off the internet. He gets his ass kicked and the storyline is never mentioned again. It was a complete and total waste of time.
• It’s so lucky that the house Jack broke into had man living there who is as short as Kiefer Sutherland. What are the chances of that?

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 2 (38)

• Jack stabs a guy with a pen then starts digging around in the wound.
• Assad tags in later on and puts a knife through his knee. I don’t even want to think about how painful that would be.

Day 6: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Tom Lennox (Peter MacNicol): Wayne Palmer’s Chief of Staff that began as the classic 24 dick politician. But MacNicol is such a good actor that once the character evolved past that, he delivered a great performance.
• Nadia Yassir (Marisol Nichols): See 24 doesn’t hate all Muslims! Nadia falls somewhere in the middle of shitty CTU workers, let’s call her a poor woman’s Michelle Dessler.
• Abu Fayed (Adoni Maropis): Obviously not as good a planner as Habib Marwan. Still causes a shitload of destruction but most of his attacks fail.
• Ray Wallace (Raphael Sbarge): Dad of another 24 family that is not going to have a good couple of hours.
• Jillian Wallace (Megan Gallagher): Wife of another 24 family that is not going to have a good couple of hours.
• Scott Wallace (Michael Angarano): Annoying son of another 24 family that is not going to have a good couple of hours.
• Ahmed Amar (Kal Penn): Hooray for Kal Penn! Boo for this dumbass plot he is involved in.

Returning Characters:

• Jack Bauer (Last episode of season 5)
• Cheng Zhi (Last episode of season 5)
• Karen Hayes (Last episode of season 5)
• Wayne Palmer (12 am – 1 am of season 5)
• Milo Pressman (3pm – 4pm of season 1)
• Morris O’Brian (Last episode of season 5)
• Bill Buchanan (Last episode of season 5)
• Curtis Manning (Last episode of season 5)

Key Moments:

• In a foreshadowing for the rest of the season, the prequel for season 6 is useless but at least we are still presented by Toyota
• First they re-air the last scenes of season 5 when the Chinese capture Jack.
• Let’s get this over with. It is 7 months later and Cheng Zhi is overseeing the shit getting tortured out of Jack. Jack hasn’t spoken a word since his capture but Cheng tells his men to continue the beatings. Then when Jack tries to sleep in his cell a couple of guys break him out and a 5-minute Toyota commercial takes place as they drive through the Chinese outback. In the end it was all a ruse by Cheng to get Jack to identify an American spy. None of this matters for the season to come.
• Let’s move on to the first hour. It is now 2 years since the end of season 5.
• There have been continuous terrorist attacks over the last couple of months throughout the United States. While the news report plays in the background of a bus stop, a Muslim man is not allowed on the bus. Karma catches up to the bus as an Asian man suicide bombs for a huge explosion.
• 24 tries a new setting for the President as we start in the Oval Office this day. Karen and Lennox set the tone for the season as Lennox wants to screw over the Muslims and Karen argues against his insanity. Wayne listens to them argue but the discussion is put to the side as the bus bombing is reported. The talk switches to the capture and removal of a man named Assad. Wayne talks about how high of a price they are paying to do it.
• Hey CTU hasn’t changed in the last 2 years! Is that Milo Pressman in a suit? And they brought him back to play the CTU bitching game with Morris? Chloe watches the 2 of them snipe at each before asking Morris about an order from Nadia. She confronts Nadia and finds out that the President negotiated Jack’s release.
• Bill and Curtis are chilling at a military base waiting for Jack. A plane rolls up and Cheng leads a chained and crazy bearded Jack out of the plane. While Curtis leads Jack into the hangar, Cheng tells Bill that Jack hasn’t spoken a word in 2 years. Jack is told that Wayne Palmer is the President and negotiated his release. We then find out what is going on as Bill tells Jack about the attacks and their belief that Assad is behind them. A man named Abu Fayed wants money and Jack in exchange for Assad’s location. Jack and Fayed have some sort of history so this makes sense to Jack. The first word out of Jack’s mouth is “Audrey” then “my daughter”. Bill tells him that neither knows that he is back and Jack wants to keep it that way. Jack tells Curtis he does not need his sidearm and wants to clean up before he is executed. He takes his shirt off to reveal a subway map of scars all across his back.
• Bill and Karen talk about sacrificing Jack as an excuse to show us that they are married.
• Chloe rips Nadia to shreds to force her to explain what is going on with Jack. Chloe does not react well to the government sacrificing Jack. Morris tries to comfort the dejected Chloe.
• Jack is cleaned up and riding in the back of the CTU SUV with Bill and Curtis. Wayne calls and has a hard time explaining himself to Jack. Jack lets him off the hook and tells Wayne that he understands what is being asked of him.
• Fayed calls Bill and tells him to cuff Jack to a grate at the exchange point. Bill protests but Fayed hangs up on him. Jack tells Bill to do it then explains that he is dying for something. The only reason he stayed alive in China was because he didn’t want to die for nothing. He tells Bill that dying will be a relief. Bill is clearly crushed by what is happening, while Curtis seems meh. Don’t worry; he’ll get what’s coming to him.
• We get introduced to the Wallace family as they discuss the terrorist attacks. Scott runs in to tell them that their neighbor is being arrested. Ahmed yells at the cops for taking his father. Some rednecks start banging on Ahemd’s door, so Ray runs over to break it up.
• To help Chloe deal with Jack’s execution, Morris hacks into a private satellite so she can see what is going on.
• Fayed picks up Jack and tosses him into the back of the van. One of his men tells him that a private satellite is watching him. Fayed calls CTU and gives them 30 seconds to redirect the satellite or he will not give them Assad. Milo tells Nadia that it is Chloe. Morris redirects but Fayed threatens to back out of the deal. Nadia even speaks in Arabic to plead to him. See, she is a good Muslim! Bill walks in and screams his head off. He even gives us his own version of “damnit!”
• Jack is dragged into Fayed’s base. He is chained to a chair and Fayed and tells him that he is going to do to Jack what Jack did to his brother. He does some brutal shit to Jack involving acid. He then tells Jack that Assad is not behind the attacks; Fayed is taking over the organization. CTU is killing the wrong man because Assad is trying to stop Fayed. He exclamation points the conversation by stabbing Jack in the back.
• Fayed calls CTU and gives them Assad’s coordinates. Chloe is crying in the dark.
• Ahmed calls Fayed and interrupts his attempt to cut off one of Jack’s fingers. Ahmed is angry that his father was arrested.
• Jack takes off the monitoring equipment so the machine sounds like he is flat lining. The guard comes running and Jack bites him in the neck for the kill. He takes his keys and uncuffs himself.
• Fayed tells Ahmed that he needs the package to be delivered soon.
• Fayed comes back into the torture room to see the guard dead and Jack missing. He sends his men down on open grate but it was a decoy. Jake is hiding in the sewer wiping blood off his mouth and chin.

Ridiculousness:

• I’m sorry but this is just a dumb plan by the government. They never explain what Wayne gave the Chinese but the mere fact that they eventually were able to trade for him means they should have gotten him a long time ago. Then to willingly sacrifice their greatest field agent in the hopes that a high level terrorist will give them the key to stopping terrorist attacks … who thought of this?
• The Ahmed plot is 24 twisting our perceptions of the show. After all the attention they got over their cliches, you would think Kal Penn would be a good Muslim but NO! He is actually deeply involved in Fayed’s scheme. Look at the nice American family take in the Muslim only to be screwed over.
• Just to be clear … Jack just got stabbed in the back with a full on blade. Later on this will mean his ribs are messed up. So don’t worry if you ever get stabbed, you’ll be fine.

Running Totals:

Torture doesn’t mean you can’t be creative: 2 (36)

• The Chinese give Jack the old fashioned shock treatment.
• Fayed cuts into Jack’s shoulder then pours acid into the wound. He also stabs Jack in the back.

Jack’s body count: 1 (140)

• Jack was ahead of the curve on the vampire craze.

The Best and Worst of the Fifth Season of 24

Best Moments:

5. The Motorcade Ambush

I list this because it was nice to see them go all out for an action moment that had not a second of Jack Bauer. Plus after all these days, it was nice to see that Aaron Pierce can handle his business.

4. Jack Interrogates Walt Cummings

Torture is one of the more tired aspects of 24 but that doesn't mean it isn't memorable when done right. And Jack went after Walt like he hasn't gone after anyone maybe in the entire series. He was just brutal.

3. CTU is gassed

CTU getting attacked is nothing new but they went all out with the nerve gas attack. When CTU was blown up in season 2, they didn't concentrate on the dead bodies. This time around multiple techs and agents just fell to their death while Jack and friends watched. Then they topped it all off with Edgar dying in front of Chloe.

2. Logan is finally caught in the end

This was a great moment just for Mike and Martha's smirks when Charles realizes what happened. Still, I wish Jack was there to witness it. Which leads me to #1:

1. Jack murders the man who killed his friends and the man who ordered the hits

I'm not saying Jack should have assassinated the sitting President of the United States but Jack should have assassinated the sitting President of the United States. This is not my fault. 24 has trained me to think like this.

Worst Moments:

5. Martha Logan

I've already wrote that many loved Jean Smart's performance. Not this guy. It is my list but I'll play nice and only put it at 5.

4. Sexual Harassment Shari

Wait what?

3. Lynn McGill

Would have gotten to the top of the list, but was out-douche suited by characters later in the season. Watching these seasons back to back to back has made the repetitive characters mind numbing.

2. Kim Bauer

What the holy hell was that? Kim is screwing her therapist and hates her dad. Thanks.

1. Homeland Security

Here is why Lynn McGill did not win for the day. You want Lynn to be the season's storyline where someone is stopping Jack from doing his job, fine. But in the same hour that he dies, Homeland Security is introduced like an invading foreign nation. I still do no understand what was going on here. Why was the entirety of CTU fired? Why? I could understand if they were going to make Karen Hayes involved in whatever Logan bullshit was going on but no she just felt that it was her job to replace CTU with Homeland Security. This really pissed me off.

The Fifth Season of 24

And the greatness of 24 comes to an end. There is no coming back after season 5. They emptied the cupboard in order to make a memorable day. But once the day is over, you are left with a show that killed 3 of the top 5 remaining characters from the early years and just turned the President evil. It’s not easy to replace a David Palmer or a Tony Almeida and it is damn near impossible to top the President as the bad guy behind everything. That’s what we are left with for the fifth season. It is a hell of a lot of fun but I don’t think it was worth it.

Day 5 definitely included some fantastic moments for Jack Bauer. From the first scene where he is trying to find construction work under a fake name to the final minute where he is being shipped to China, Jack had a tough day. He also executed the man who killed David Palmer and the man that ordered the assassination so it was a productive day. Thankfully, he wasn’t torturing someone every hour so when he does put Walt Cummings at knifepoint or threaten to kill Collette Stenger it felt more important and serious. Coming off the heels of robbing a convenience store in the fourth season, Jack robs a bank and hijacks a plane. I think Jack may actually be a terrorist. He also commits his most egregious crime when he kidnaps the sitting President of the United States. There is nothing Jack wouldn’t do for his country.

In the big twist for the season, Charles Logan is the other key player. It took them 2 seasons to figure out a way to do a non-David Palmer presidential storyline. They must have saw something in Gregory Itzin’s work at the end of the season 4 because the evolution of Logan was incredible. The previous day ended with Logan in over his head and the early hours of day 5 were much of the same. He was trying to be Presidential and craft a legacy with his Russian treaty but once the events started stacking up he became the same useless man under pressure. They kept pushing this through the introduction of Vice President Gardner. But just as Logan was at his weakest, they pulled the rug out and made Charles Logan the man with the plan. Was this believable? I don’t know. Did they ever give a really good reason why he would do something so dangerous? There were mumblings about oil in Central Asia but no it was never acceptably explained. But this is television so shut up and enjoy the ride. Once he was revealed as the big bad boogeyman, it was just as much fun to watch him terrified as Jack Bauer hunted him down.

Day 5 went deep into the well of returning characters. Nearly everyone who was still alive was brought back. Except Chase; where are you Chase Edmunds?!?! Chloe had a bunch of classic Chloe scenes. Day 5 gave us her one-night stand, her refusal to talk to Bill about Jack, Edgar dying in front of her eyes, picking Miles’ pocket, and her fun times at Bill’s house and the hotel bar. The end of the day even introduced Morris, which will significantly change her character over the next couple of seasons. Bill Buchanan solidifies himself as the best man to run CTU since George Mason. He deals with both Lynn McGill and Karen Hayes undercutting his power but he still looks like the only competent man in management. Plus we got to hang out in his house. Mike Novick is brought back to the main cast and makes up for his shitty heel turn at the end of season 2. He was the voice of reason throughout the day at Logan’s retreat and then did what was necessary to take down the man responsible for killing David Palmer. Curtis continues his role as the field agent B team. He was perfect in this role so, of course, he will be killed next season. Once again, I may be the only one happy about it but Wayne Palmer is brought back. Just like his actions at the end of season 3 make him a bad candidate for President, this season he is killing people with Jack Bauer and he still will be President next season. Audrey Raines just happens to be hanging out at CTU today but we get to see more Jack and Audrey, which looking back was probably Jack’s best relationship. And now that I say that, the creators will destroy that next season. I HATE SEASON 6! Aaron Pierce gets his best season as the calmest Secret Service Agent around. He even gets to shoot his gun instead of standing around and looking stern.

Let’s move on to the significant deaths in the fourth season. If the story is strong enough, I have no problem with 24 offing their characters. This is one of the things that made the show different from everything. So building season 5 around the assassination of David Palmer was a fantastic idea. It puts so many returning characters in motion that it felt like a legit idea to drive the season forward. But the deaths of Michelle Dessler and Tony Almeida are different ideas. Michelle was never a great character so killing her to implicate Jack Bauer doesn’t bother me, but it should have lead to a Tony B-story throughout the year. Instead Tony is unconscious for half the day, then wakes up and is killed. So these 2 characters were killed as motivation for Jack, but he didn’t need any more after the death of David Palmer. Now they will reverse the decision on Tony by magicing him back to life, but that wasn’t during season 5. He is dead at the end of the day. Those 2 character deaths were a waste and should have been much more. On the other hand, Edgar’s death was one of the stronger deaths that the show has done. I wouldn’t say his character was expendable but sometimes the shock is worth it and you can’t kill two-thirds of CTU without killing one of the speaking characters.

Day 5 didn’t have as many introductions as past seasons but some of them were memorable. For this season alone, Martha Logan was extremely important. Like I wrote for her introduction, I was not a fan of Jean Smart’s performance. 24 is so close to soap opera already that I don’t think introducing an insane First Lady was a good thing. As the season went on and she became calmer, it worked much better. Karen Hayes is the other character that will come back in a big way next season. I hate her character mainly because I am tired of the asshole coming into CTU and bossing Jack and friends around. Once her character evolves past this crutch, she becomes much more tolerable. Outside of those 2, only Morris will come back in future seasons. And all he is here is Chloe’s goofy ex-husband. I skipped Graem because I need to pace myself when it comes to attacking the Jack Bauer’s family is evil storyline. Of the characters introduced and removed in the same day, Lynn McGill was the weirdest. The casting of Sean Astin was strange in the first place but then to give him the ultimate CTU dick role … why? It was painful to watch. Then after he is dead; we get that prick, Miles. He is definitely in my top 5 most despised characters in the history of 24. All he does is cackle as Homeland Security takes over CTU. He is just a complete piece of shit. I may have hated those 2 guys, but there were 2 great villains that Jack killed in Day 5. Both Christopher Henderson and Vladimir Bierko were top-notch 24 villains. The Henderson character works because someone had to train Jack and you don’t get a more tried and true storyline than the student has to take down the teacher. And 24 went with it by having Henderson constantly comment on Jack’s tactics before Jack even does anything. He also got a great death scene. Bierko may have been the standard terrorist, but I enjoyed Julian Sands’ performance. His escape at the end may have been dumb, but it was fun to see him one last time.

There was some weak sauce C and D plots throughout the day. The Huxleys were introduced as a means to explain where Jack is living, but once the day began they were gone and forgotten. What was the point? Not only did I hate the Lynn McGill characters, he also brought with him his meth head sister and boyfriend. There was also the Russian sex slave and later on, CTU has sexual harassment Shari. I don’t understand why these things were necessary. Oh yeah and Kim was brought back in about the worst way possible. Who knew you could take a shitty character like Kim Bauer and then strive to create the worst possible plotline for her 2 hour return.

Like I've already said, season 5 crushed 24. Everything that was left was thrown at the wall in order to get one last gasp of greatness. It wasn't the best day for the series but compared to what comes next it should be in the Hall of Fame.

Day 5: 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

Last hour

Returning Characters:

• Cheng Zhi (5am – 6am episode of season 4)

Key Moments:

• Charles and Martha are getting changed after doing their business.
• The helicopter pilot is told that there is a problem with his paperwork.
• Mike is faxing Pierce new paperwork that will get Jack on the chopper.
• The pilot walks into the building to get choked out by Jack. Jack gears up and heads to the chopper. He hops into the cockpit with no difficulty.
• Martha gives Charles an excuse so she doesn’t join him on the chopper. It was easy because she just played to his ego. Logan gets on and the chopper takes off. Once they are in the air, Jack shows the pilot his gun. He then walks into the back and stuns Logan’s 2 guards. Logan nearly shits his pants when Jack takes his helmet off. Jack gets the location from Chloe as Logan pleads for his life. Jack just stares at him.
• Morris is on the road and Chloe gives him a location for his delivery.
• The helicopter lands and Jack stuns the pilot. He takes Logan by gunpoint into some empty building. Jack empties Logan’s pockets and tosses his stuff on table. Morris enters the building and delivers Chloe’s package. He just sighs when he sees Jack then sees the President. Chloe calls Jack and tells him he has 10 minutes.
• While Jack sets up the recording equipment, Logan tells him that he will give him a confession. Jack recaps the day’s events and tells Logan that it is his fault. Logan denies. Jack uses his loud voice and names his co-conspirators, Walt Cummings, James Nathanson, and Christopher Henderson. Logan still denies. Jack tells Logan he is not going to torture him but he is going to kill him. He moves on to one of Jack’s greatest speeches. He tells Logan that David Palmer warned him that his life was in danger but he didn’t know that Logan was that danger. Logan took his life from him and he now has nothing left to lose. Jack counts to 3 and scares Logan shitless, but Jack can’t pull the trigger. Logan’s security arrives and Jack puts his gun down and kneels on the ground. Logan is freed and picks up his stuff. He tells his men to put Jack in solitary confinement.
• Logan lands at the airport where David Palmer’s body is being ready for transport back to DC. Mike and Martha are waiting for him; Mike gets a call telling him that Jack failed. Martha greets Charles in front of the press. David’s casket is brought out of the hearse and walked in front of the podium. Martha breaks down and starts screaming that Charles’ is a murderer. His security drags her into a hanger. Logan follows them in and slaps the hell out of her. He searches her for a wire and begins berating her. Martha goes over all of the accusations and Charles explains why he did everything he did. Logan ends it by saying if she continues he will pull her full of drugs and dump her in the asylum for the rest of her life.
• Logan salutes David’s casket and walks up to the podium. Martha stands next to Mike in the background.
• Chloe is on the phone with the Attorney General. She brings in Bill and Karen. She explains that Jack put a listening device on the President. They all listen to Martha and Charles’ argument.
• Logan is in mid-speech when a federal marshal gets a call from the Attorney General. Charles spots the marshals moving towards the podium. He finishes his speech and speaks with the marshal. The marshal grabs the pen out of his jacket and shows him the listening device Jack placed on him. Logan turns around to see Martha and Mike smirking at him. Yes! Fuck you Logan! He is taken into custody at the same time that David Palmer is given his gun salute.
• Audrey arrives to share one last happy moment with Jack. An agent walks up and tells Jack that there is a call from his daughter. Jack leaves Audrey to run into the building and pick up the phone. He is grabbed and drugged by a group of masked men.
• Karen is leaving CTU and tells Bill that she will make sure that he stays in charge of CTU. Bill asks her out on a date now that she is no longer a cunt.
• Bill hands Chloe something that was in Edgar’s stuff. It is a photo of Chloe and Edgar. She starts to cry and Morris walks up and consoles her. I love emotional Chloe.
• Audrey looks around for Jack and realizes he is missing.
• A bloody Jack is dragged in front of Cheng Zhi. He tells Jack that China has a long memory. Jack asks for 1 phone call and when he doesn’t get it he pleads for them to kill him. Cheng says he is far too valuable to kill. The shot pulls out so we see that Jack is already on a slow boat to Shanghai.

Ridiculousness:

• Would Jack really be immediately let out of custody after kidnapping the President?

Running Totals:

Jack loves America not Americans: 4 (26)

• Poor chopper pilot.
• Jack uses his stun gun on everyone not named Logan on the helicopter.

Jack’s million-dollar dream: 1 (7)

• Jack takes the pilot out with his go to move.

Day 5: 5:00 AM - 6:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Morris O’Brian (Carlo Rota): Chloe was married? To this guy? For some reason, characters in the Chloe part of the 24 universe are always goofier than the rest.

Returning Characters:

Skip

Key Moments:

• Bierko has flushed the gas out of the sub and is now loading targets for the missiles.
• Audrey confirms with the military that it will take more than 20 minutes to sink the sub. It’s up to Jack to get the job done. I wasn’t expecting that!
• Jack is on site and discusses assaulting the sub with CTU. Henderson spots a radio buoy float to the service. Jack speaks with a petty officer that is still alive on the sub. Jack tells him that he needs to kill the Russian guarding an exit so Jack can get in. Henderson demands a gun if he is going into the sub, so Jack gives him one.
• Jack calmly explains how to slit a throat to the petty officer. After all that detailed teaching, the petty officer just ends up stabbing the guy repeatedly in the throat. Jack kills the outside guard and they head into the sub. He sends the petty officer to the other end of the sub to create a distraction. Bierko hears the noise and leaves with his men to go check it out. Jack crawls into the control room and when he gets a signal from a CTU agent, stabs the remaining thug in the neck. Henderson starts working on stopping the missiles. The CTU agent with Jack is immediately killed as they search for Bierko. Jack kills both of Bierko’s men and then goes hand to hand with Bierko. He ends the Bierko fight by using his legs for more neck snapping. Henderson shuts down the missiles and Jack turns of his comm. equipment. When Jack exits the sub, Henderson is waiting for him gun ready. He asks if Jack was ever going to let him go and Jack says no. Henderson pulls the trigger but Jack gave him an unloaded gun. Henderson says good for you. Jack tells him that he is responsible for the deaths of David Palmer, Tony Almeida, and Michelle Dessler and they were friends of his. He then shoots Henderson dead.
• Jack informs CTU that Henderson is dead. He then speaks with Chloe privately. He tells her he is not coming back to CTU; he is going after Logan. He tells Chloe he will need some recording equipment. She says she will need help.
• Logan and Mike share a deep breath after finding out that the sub is secure. When Mike leaves the office, Martha catches him and asks him to follow her.
• Logan and Graem talk about the latest developments and make more cryptic statements about Jack being taken care of.
• Martha brings Mike to the bloody Pierce. They explain what Logan has done and Mike believes them. He hides Pierce in a car and drives him to a safe spot.
• While Mike and Pierce are hiding the dead Secret Service agent’s body, Jack calls. His plan is to kidnap and torture the shit out of Logan. He asks Mike to delay the President from leaving the retreat.
• Chloe brings her request to reinstate Morris to CTU to Karen and Bill. She explains that Morris has been selling woman’s shoes! They agree because they trust Chloe. Morris is already making moves on one of the hotter CTU techs when Chloe comes over. She needs his help on the recording equipment Jack needs.
• Mike tells Martha that Jack needs Logan to delay his departure.
• Jack meets up with Pierce and needs him to get Jack as close to Logan’s helicopter as possible.
• 24 goes to the well once again and Martha sleeps with Charles in order to stall him.
• Mike asks Jack how far he is willing to take this. Jack tells him as far as it takes.

Ridiculousness:

• Really? The United States military can’t sink a sub in it’s own docks in less than 20 minutes?

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 6 (139)

• Jack racks up some numbers at the Russian submarine.

Chloe drives a sane man crazy: 1 (13)

• Bill’s response upon reading Morris’ name is classic.

Day 5: 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Joseph Malina (Jose Zuniga): Another in a long line of “that guy”s that have appeared on 24. He is in only one scene but he is important to the plot.

Returning Characters:

Nope

Key Moments:

• Before the meeting with the Attorney General begins, Chloe realizes that the recording is gone. Jack uses his loud voice and she remembers that the prick, Miles, was just in the room. Jack does the determined walk towards the prick. He knocks out a redshirt and yokes Miles against a pillar. Jack proceeds to nearly choke him to death before Karem calls him off. She slaps the prick before he leaves for his new job with the President. Logan then calls Karen and tells her that Jack is no longer a suspect. Before they can figure out a new plan, Bill says that Bierko has escaped. The surviving agent says that he has a canister of nerve gas.
• Bierko rips off his bandage to reveal a sweet zipper scar down the side of his face.
• Pierce is locked in some office at the retreat. He has had the shit kicked out of him. Logan walks in all confident and tells him that the recording is gone and he will let him go if he drops it. Pierce tells him to fuck off and calls him Charles. Logan doesn’t say the words but the Secret Service agent knows when he has been ordered to kill a man. Logan updates Graem and says he is handling Jack Bauer. Mike pops up to tell him about Bierko’s escape.
• Chloe can’t find Bierko so Karen says Henderson is an option. Jack flips out but Bill talks him into it. Jack says he will bring the deal to Henderson. Henderson smells a deal when Jack walks in the room and tells Jack he doesn’t want immunity. He wants Jack to disappear him because that is the only way to keep him safe. Henderson knows Jack Bauer and all he asks for is Jack’s word.
• Henderson’s information leads them to an arms dealer named Joseph Malina. Henderson says he should go in alone because Malina’s technology is too awesome for CTU to hack. Karen sends Jack to babysit Henderson.
• Martha is out smoking again and spots a shady car driving around. She sees Pierce being put in the trunk of the car. Martha just walks towards the agent distracting him so Pierce can kick the gun out of his hand. The agent goes for his knife and Martha shoots him dead.
• Jack and crew arrive at Malina’s home. Henderson and Jack argue over tactics. Henderson is going in without a wire. Jack listens in from the roof. After passing all his security scans, Henderson tells Malina that CTU is outside and they are coming in. He tells him to download his files and wipe his system. Jack and Curtis move in on hearing this. Malina shoots Curtis (AGAIN!) but Jack takes him down. Henderson yells at Jack and tells him he was getting Malina to drop his firewall. Jack tells Chloe to access the files.
• Martha is cleaning the blood off Pierce’s face. They discuss what they can do about Charles and Pierce tells her to call Mike for help.
• Chloe finds files on a Russian submarine. Jack asks Henderson about the submarine’s armament and decides that Henderson is coming with him. They hop in a helicopter and Audrey gets Jack in contact with the sub captain. The sub goes on alert but it’s no use. Bierko kills the captain and drops the nerve canister into the sub. After the gas kills the crew, Bierko and his men drop into the sub and access the missiles.

Ridiculousness:

Nothing to make fun of

Running Totals:

Jack’s body count: 1 (133)

• I’m not sure if Jack killed Malina but they never question him so I’m gonna say he is dead.

Day 5: 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

Skip

Returning Characters:

Skip again

Key Moments:

• Jack calls Karen and says he has the recording and will be landing soon. Bill tells him they will send a team to meet him.
• Curtis tells Audrey that her father survived his sweet car crash. Karen pops up to send Curtis off to pick up Jack.
• Graem gives Logan a solution to his Jack problem. They will send a fake distress signal that will give Logan the right to shoot down the plane. Logan has second thoughts but doesn’t say no.
• Karen brings Bill back out onto the floor without giving the prick, Miles, a reason.
• Mike tells Logan that a distress signal has been sent from the plane. Logan plays dumb. The admiral that they speak tells them that the appropriate response is to shoot the plane down. Mike argues against this but Logan agrees with the admiral.
• Karen tells Jack about the distress code. Jack tells the co-pilot to land the plane now. He is told there is nowhere to land so Jack tells Bill to find him a stretch of freeway. Jack cuffs the co-pilot to the stick and tells him to take the plane down.
• Chloe is brought back into CTU and immediately starts working with Karen and Bill. The prick, Miles, is losing his mind.
• Bill gives Jack a location and Jack tells the co-pilot to land there or they will be shot down. Curtis is on his way.
• Jack yells at the co-pilot to descend and jumps in to help him level the plane out. Logan is told the plane is attempting to land but he still screams for them to shoot it down. Mike pleads with him to stop. Jack and the co-pilot struggle to get the plane on the ground. I would call it C+ CGI show the plane landing on the freeway and coming to a stop just before hitting an overpass. Jack sends the passengers out the back of the plane so he can sneak out through the emergency exit.
• Jack calls Curtis and finds out where he is coming from. Jack hops in the back of the SUV but they hit roadblock of soldiers. Curtis talks his way past the checkpoint.
• The prick, Miles, calls Karen and demands answer for the presence of Bill and Chloe. Karen makes another dumbass decision and decides to tell him the truth. He argues against it but eventually agrees to help.
• Bierko is being transported out of CTU, but one of his men is driving the transport.
• Mike tells Logan that Jack escaped the soldiers. Logan reacts so poorly to this information that Mike asks if he is all right. Mike leaves the room and Logan ignores Graem’s call.
• Jack is back at CTU and Karen tells him that the Attorney General will be ready in 10 minutes. Jack gives Chloe the recording so she can clean it up and make it ready for the AG.
• Logan stares out into the distance. He grabs a box off the shelf and calls Graem. Graem tells him about CTU’s call to the AG. Logan tells him that he thinks what they did is right and Graem tells him that the country can’t have a sitting President put on trial. Logan opens the box to reveal his special gun.
• Charles talks to Martha one more time. He apologizes for hurting her, not any of the other shit he did just hurting her. She does not let him off the hook. He walks back to his office and his gun. He takes out his secret stash of hooch and pours himself one last drink. After the drink, he picks up the gun. Of course, the phone rings at this exact moment. The prick, Miles, calls and offers to destroy the evidence. He gets the go ahead from Logan, walks up to Chloe, and holds a device near her computer.

Ridiculousness:

• How in the holy hell is Bierko able to get one of his men as the driver of his prisoner transport? There is no way he could be prepared for this specific situation and had a man ready undercover. Could they have, at least, introduced the man by showing the dead body of the original driver?
• Wouldn’t Chloe have immediately made copies of the recording?

Running Totals:

No cliches to speak of

Day 5: 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• George Avila (Kirk Acevedo): The plane sequence has a bunch of familiar faces even if it is only for a small amount of screen time. Gotta respect the Oz alum as the air marshal.
• Hans Meyer (Kirk B.R. Woller): Another familiar face who may have been on everything single television show ever. He is the first man Jack suspects on the plane.
• Ross (Blake Robbins): He is the drunken guy at the bar, which I would usually not list but he is the second major Oz actor to pop up this hour.
• Sue (Stephanie Erb): The flight attendant who’s job got much harder when Jack stowed himself in the cargo hold.
• Captain Cotter (Richard Gilliland): The pilot who doesn’t know how to be smooth.
• Scott Evans (Andrew Hawkes): The co-pilot and Henderson stooge.

Returning Characters:

Look at all those new folk

Key Moments:

• We get a couple frantic minutes as Karen is telling Bill to get Chloe out of his house. Bill sends her out the back door and says he will run interference. He awesomely takes off his dress shirt and messes up his hair before letting Homeland Security into his house. He then tells the lead agent he will only talk to Karen Hayes. Bill talks shit to the prick, Miles, and Karen tells the agents to bring him back to CTU. The prick, Miles, is confused by Karen’s actions and argues to interrogate Bill in the field.
• Chloe enters the bar of a hotel near Bill’s house. I don’t know why she is doing her work in the bar instead of getting a room for some privacy. She calls Karen and they start working on the plane. Chloe then calls Jack with an update on the passengers and he tells her to find the connection to Henderson and the identity of the air marshal. Once she tells him, Jack pops out of the cargo hold, sits down next to the air marshal, and cracks him upside the head with an elbow. He also steals his badge.
• Chloe finds a passenger with a connection to Henderson. Jack flashes his badge and takes Hans to the back of the plane. He chokes him out and tosses him down into the cargo hold.
• Martha acts crazier and crazier and calls Mike for help. When he tries to comfort her, she lets slip that something really bad has happened but she can’t tell Mike.
• Mike brings Martha’s crazy to Logan and asks what the hell is going on? When Logan can’t blow him off, he spins him a lie about their marriage has become a lie and Martha is reacting to that. He tells Mike to give her whatever medication she wants.
• Hans claims that he hasn’t spoken to Henderson in months.
• Sue notices that they are missing a passenger and the marshal is unconscious. She notifies the pilot and co-pilot.
• Martha gets her drugs but Mike doesn’t get his answers.
• After more research, Choe tells Jack that she doesn’t think Hans is their man. Jack feels the plane turning and knows that his presence is known. The marshal tells the pilot to depressurize the hold to knock Jack out. Karen gets Jack through to the pilot and he pleads his case. The pilot doesn’t buy it so Jack takes matters into his own hands and starts pulling on wires that make the plane wobble. He is let out of the hold and sends the air marshal down into the hold. He walks through the aisle of the plane with his gun out freaking out the passengers. Jack tells the pilot he will search the passengers one by one. The pilot tells Jack he is landing the plane.
• Logan finds out that Jack has hijacked a plane and calls Graem with the information.
• Bill is led through CTU. The prick, Miles, talks shit but Karen calls him off. The prick, Miles, calls Mike confused that Karen hasn’t killed Bill in cold blood yet. Mike tells him to back off. Karen puts Bill in a holding room and shuts down the monitoring. She takes the call from Logan and Mike in the holding room. Logan wants the plane on the ground and Jack arrested and still refuses to explain why.
• Chloe tells Jack that Henderson’s man is the co-pilot. Jack tells this to the pilot. The pilot has no skills and after asking obvious questions, he tries to get up and unlock the door but the co-pilot knocks him out. He was able to open the door though, so Jack rushes in and knocks the co-pilot around before taking the recording from him. He calls Chloe and says they will be landing in 15 minutes.
• After having another argument with Martha, Logan takes a call from Graem. Graem tells him that Jack has the recording and Logan needs to shoot down the plane.

Ridiculousness:

• Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with Miles? I hate this motherfucker more than any other shitty CTU character in the history of the show. Even though Bill and Karen are playing a game, shouldn’t the former head of CTU get the respect of being questioned in person before you torture him in the field?
• Chloe at the bar is definitely a funny idea, but to go so far as to have her stun a drunken guy is many steps too far.
• Is it that easy to make a plane wobble? If I get into the cargo hold and yank on a wire, the plan will tilt in a different direction?

Running Totals:

Jack loves America not Americans: 1 (22)

• Poor air marshal never stood a chance.

Jack’s million-dollar dream: 1 (6)

• Hans is put to sleep.

Day 5: 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM

Characters Introduced:

• Graem Bauer (Paul McGrane): Yeah his last name is a spoiler but season 6 sucks so who cares. 24 goes completely on the nose and actually introduces the shady white men (plus 1 black man) cabal.

Returning Characters:

None

Key Moments:

• Jack is still fixing up Audrey’s wound. He tries to get in touch with Chloe but can’t get through. Heller calls and they argue over his failure. Jack calls Bill and finds out that Chloe is hanging at his house. He asks her to track Henderson. Chloe makes some awesome snide comments towards Bill’s home PC as she fixes it up so she can do her business. Jack and Audrey hop back in the cop car and head after Henderson. He tells her that the recording is Henderson’s insurance against Logan.
• Henderson calls Logan and tells him the same thing. He is holding the recording because of Walt’s “suicide”. They hang up and Logan is pissed.
• Jack is confused how he has caught up to Henderson so quickly but that doesn’t stop him from running him off the road. Henderson fires at Jack but when he tries to reload on the run, Jack fires 3 bullets all around him. Henderson tells Jack if you kill me Heller dies. Audrey just happens to walk in as he says this. Jack tosses Henderson some handcuffs and tells Chloe to connect him to Heller. She orders Bill around and Heller confirms for Jack that a helicopter is following him. He then notices a laser sight on his chest. Heller tells Jack not to let Henderson go and drives his car off a cliff! I love James Heller! Jack flips out and takes Henderson to the ground. Jack puts a gun to him but Henderson tells him he will never give up the recording. Even though Audrey tells Jack to kill him, Jack just knocks him out.
• Logan calls Graem with the latest goings on. Graem tells him that his wife is going to be a problem. He explains that she has been talking to Pierce.
• Martha is flipping out over the missing Pierce. And Logan goes old school by having one of the agents lead her into a room then lock the door behind her. Ha!
• Jack has Chloe retrack Henderson’s movements and she spots a hand off. The recording is now at an airport and onboard a plane. Jack tells Bill to send Curtis to pick up Audrey and Henderson. Jack leaves Audrey a gun and tells her not to engage Henderson in any way.
• While Karen and the prick, Miles, discuss Bierko and Homeland Security, Karen is notified that Chloe has escaped. She also finds out that Shari talked to Chloe but did not stop her. The prick goes off to track Chloe and Karen questions Shari. She is told that Chloe thinks Logan is behind everything.
• Itzin takes another swing at the Emmy reel as Logan meets with Martha and admits to his actions. He tells her what he has done and what he is responsible for but he needs her to keep quiet for the country’s sake. She agrees but she also hates him now. He should have responded by saying go ahead and talk and you will be dead within hours.
• Henderson starts manipulating Audrey.
• Chloe tells Jack that Henderson’s men are closing in on Audrey, so Jack calls her and tells her to run. She says she will kill Henderson first but can’t pull the trigger. Henderson’s men free him and he tells them to kill Audrey. Curtis sneaks up and grabs Audrey as his team wipes out Henderson’s men. Jack is told that Audrey is safe but CTU still cares more about him than anything else. He tells Chloe to find out who is on board as he makes for the plane.
• The prick, Miles, has located Chloe and tells Karen that a team will be at Bill’s house within 7 minutes. Karen calls Mike and still can’t get an explanation of what is going on, so sanity is bestowed upon her and she calls Bill to warn him. She tells him to get Chloe out of his house.
• Secret Agent Jack’s big plan is to pick up some luggage and just walk right on to the plane. He hides in the cargo hold, as the plane gets ready for takeoff.

Ridiculousness:

Solid hour

Running Totals:

Chloe drives a sane man crazy: 1 (12)

• All of the scenes where Chloe orders Bill around in his house are outstanding Chloe moments.