Pathfinder

I avoided it as long as possible, but it was finally time to see a truly bad movie this year. There have been disappointing ones and there have been ones there were bland but Pathfinder is just terrible. It doesn’t even have the respect to be memorably awful. I like my bad movies to be on the level of Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever meaning something that can be marveled at for years to come. And it is with this in mind that Pathfinder has completely let me down.

So Karl Urban … yeah who decided that he was next up to be the top billed action star? I am not going to trash the man, but I will say that his best work has been when he is farther down on the credits. If the offer was Bourne Supremacy or Doom and you raised your hand for Doom watch your back because I just might hand you an anvil and push you off a cliff. With that being said, in this movie Urban is definitely not with Schwarzenegger turning Conan the Barbarian into something memorable. He is adequate but adequate doesn’t get the job done as an action man. And that in and of itself leads to second failing of Pathfinder, which are the shitastic action scenes. There is nothing good that I can even say about them. Lots of yelling and people swinging stuff and eventually a body or two falls in front of the camera. Then when they tried to create something original; we get the ridiculous contrivance of tying everyone together then knocking the last guy off a cliff, which then pulls the rest of the guys off. Maybe on paper that seemed swell but onscreen it was definitely unswell. The audience gets that plus a really poor avalanche to finish the bad guys off. But don’t despair for the survivors there is a an estranged Viking warrior patrolling the eastern seaboard ready to confront and stop any other conquering attempts by those awful Norseman.

Since there is nothing that great to talk about and the movie is so thin that I can’t even spend that much time bashing it, this review is now coming to an end. Don’t see Pathfinder. And since it took me over a week to write this review, luckily it is already probably out of theaters so hopefully no one will even be tempted.

3 out of 10