The Road

Alright, so I am a dark sonuvabitch but even I have my limits. The Road may have crossed whatever imaginary line in the sand that I measure stories against. This is a movie where I would go through a 10-minute preamble explaining myself before recommending it to anyone. Even with all that the commitment Viggo Mortensen brings to this role needs to be seen to believe.

What the hell was the damn point of The Road? You know all those bleak versions of the post-apocalypse? Fuck that pansy shit. You want cannibalism; you want decrepit skeleton people; you want humans hunted for sport; wait a second why do you want these things? There was no happiness in this story. No goal that would make the suffering worthwhile. Things just got worse and worse until the credits rolled.

Just to reiterate, Viggo was fully committed to this role. I don't know how you can fake that level of emaciated. He looked and acted like the ghost of a man someone in his position would be. There was a constant thousand yard stare in his eyes that was terrifying. And as his actions became more and more erratic, Viggo just kept bringing another level of insanity to his actions.

Although there were only 2 main characters in The Road, Viggo and his son, bit parts had Robert Duvall, Charlize Theron, Garret Dillahunt, Michael K. Williams, Molly Parker, and Guy Pearce showing up to make my day. Duvall was so amazing that I didn’t even recognize him at first. He may have been the only sympathetic character in the entire film. I am contractually obligated to mention Dillahunt whenever he works and he got to bring another scumbag to life. And who doesn’t want to see Omar whenever possible?

I don't recommend The Road to anyone. Oh its a great movie with breathtaking visuals and memorable performances, but I will not be responsible when it depresses the hell out of you. Put that on your DVD cover.

8 out of 10