The Forbidden Kingdom

If I took movies all that seriously, The Forbidden Kingdom would have terrified me since the moment I heard about it. Me like Jackie Chan movies and me like Jet Li movies, so putting the 2 of them together in a story based in the martial world would seem to be a perfect marriage. Even if they are passed their primes. Then you slap me upside the head with written by Hollywood screenwriter and directed by a Hollywood director known for the Stuart Little series. And in the end, that is exactly what the final product was, a mixture of greatness and awfulness all thrown together making me feel weird and unsatisfied.

We’ll start with the good because I did honestly enjoy The Forbidden Kingdom even though I will spend some time ripping it apart. There are 5 highlights, the Monkey King vs. the Jade Warlord, the fight in the teahouse, the fight in the temple, the fight in the field, and the final showdown. Did you sense the pattern? Because the math is pretty simple here, when Yuen Woo-ping took over as action director this movie shined. It wasn’t even dependent on Chan and Li. Everyone looked good; even the annoying white kid. That being said; obviously the best fight scene is when Jackie Chan and Jet Li square off after 3 decades circling each other. Thankfully, they were given an extended scene so nothing was rushed. It damn near fulfilled whatever expectations I had when I think of Drunken Master Jackie Chan against Once Upon a Time in China Jet Li. No real complaints. Plus the Monkey King’s magical weapon was a staff, which is my favorite martial arts weapon, so the kung fu sections were planted squarely on my good side.

I really want to list everything that annoyed me about The Forbidden Kingdom but I know that there is one thing I will not be able to get past. You'll see. First off is the useless and annoying beginning and ending scenes set in today’s “Boston”. There is nothing worthwhile here. It was all an excuse to shoehorn an American as the star which in turn handicaps the entire film. The less said about the street toughs with the cartoon Brooklyn accents in Boston the better. Once the story moves to China, things improve due to massive amounts of fighting not because of anything else. You have the female character that speaks in the third person for no damn reason whatsoever. The Jade Warlord and his army all wearing massive amounts of eyeliner. The witch born of wolves is Sindel from Mortal Kombat. The Monkey King is too damn goofy to take seriously which is a problem since all of his fights are crucial to the story. Jet Li pisses on Jackie Chan. We're done here.

I've seen enough kung fu films to not dismiss films because they are goofy. Hong Kong flicks are filled with movies that start off great then start throwing curveballs at you until you throw up your hands and accept it. Because of this training, I was able to completely enjoy The Forbidden Kingdom even with some damn near fatal flaws. The action was just too good to ignore. And in the end that is all I was looking for.

7 out of 10